My worst Nightmare involving Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Grilled Cheese Sandwich instead of parachute handed to me as plane plummets to ground (18)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich with capers and cole slaw (7)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich made by Ernest Borgnine and served on his bus (5)

in heaven i expect

free refills on milkshakes (10)
really good fried chicken (7)
waffles (6)

Howard Stern

Leave 'em (8)
Love 'em (4)
Our lives our so strikingly similar that I thought you were talking about me for a second (4)

We need another

Credence Clearwater Revival (9)
Coffee shop chain (4)
Alternative film festival (2)

I am _____ years old

This many (10)
25-35 space coaster years (5)
VH1's target audience plus 15-23 (1)

A pirate has stolen "yer faxing machine". You will most likely find it hidden:

In Cap'n Buckles' new floating home office (11)
Behind yer water cooler (3)
Under yer sink (1)

For his next trick, 'David Blaine:'

'Going Away' (13)
'Frozen in Retardation' (10)
'Trapped in Amber' (2)

does your mother know you are going out dressed like that?

no (14)
yes (12)

happyrobot is

all about pudding (11)
all about the ladies (3)
all about the kids (0)

worst thing about Halloween

egg throwing teens (7)
candy stomach aches (5)
dad having to go with you (5)

instead of voting for Al or George, I'd rather

shoot a man in reno (17)
eat my own leg (10)
pull my fingernails out with pliers (7)

who would you rather make out with?

Al Gore (16)
George W Bush (13)

north (26)
south (21)

east coast (13)
west coast (6)

most anticipated fall movie

Not without my bongos (115)
Spooky Towne USA (5)
Teen Love Story #3771 (1)

my favorite NYC subway stop

the really hot one that smells like pee (9)
the really hot one that smells like poo (7)

Mountain Dew

Made of Pee-Pee (10)
Made of People (3)
Nectar of the Gods (3)

Funniest Mutant Animals of the Future

John Lawton's Sister (23)
Time Bending House Cat (7)
Flame Throwing Cockroach (7)

Please describe your level of education

Dumb enough to do the same thing twice (10)
Dumb enough to do the same thing twice (5)
Not dumb enough to do the same thing twice (4)

if i was in a boy band, i would be the

tough guy (11)
weaselly greasy guy (6)
pale sickly guy (6)

Secretly, I love them more

mom (11)
dad (6)

If I worked at a rodeo, I would be

A showgirl (8)
The radio commentator from WBRN, barn-raisiní hits all day and all night (6)
The pimply-faced ticket taker (4)

Better kickline

Wake County Senior Trotters (9)
Tarantulas (4)
Kangaroos (1)

I get my phone messages from

Jeeves the treemonkey (10)
voicemail (10)
an actual answering machine (1)

To me, evil is

A warm hand in the wrong place (14)
Comedies that name fat men 'Tiny' (10)
An old manís jiggly jowls (2)

Teen movies are so popular right now because

When girl with glasses take off glasses, suddenly she get so pretty! (12)
I learn how to socially enteract with people too young and hot for me (2)
I like to see what my favorite actors from Teen People are up to (1)

My friends know my style, Ďcause Iím all about the

Pirate Walk, arrgghhh! (15)
Oak Tree (3)
Cabbage Patch (1)

Summertime - it makes me want to

Take my clothes off (16)
Put more clothes on (4)

Help! Iíve got ants in my

Tiny Steamship (43)
pants (41)
George Lucas (13)

the spanking machine

fun and games (72)
pain and terror (69)

things i wish i hadn't done

getting a roommate that had ferrets (6)
taking that girl to the prom (5)
almost hitting my brother with a flower pot once (1)

my favorite ice cream from the ice cream truck

fat man frolic (7)
clammy clam (6)
stupid metallica jerks and chips (6)

Scarier Ocean Creatures

Uncle Bob Pretending to be a shark (11)
Sneaky Jelly Fish (10)
Pinching Crabs (1)

Without Chewbacca and Han Solo, Star Wars would of been stupid

True (17)
False (5)

My mom DID NOT take me to see one of these movies

Breakin' (13)
Cannonball Run part 2 (4)
Flash Gordon (1)
Actually, my mom did take me and my brother Eric to see Breakin', as well as Flash Gordon. She did not take me to see Cannonball Run, though. Me & George went to that.

Happy ____________

Is that your hand on my ass? (7)
Easter (7)
Keester (6)

When Historians look back at the year 2000, what phrase will best describe it?

Jammin Jamz (14)
Jammin Hits (7)
Jammin Oldies (1)

Don't Mess with

Dan Turek (16)
Flame throwers (14)
Texas (6)

the subtitle for Election 2000 should be

Election 2000 : Suck it (11)
Election 2000 : White guys doing stuff (8)
Election 2000 : You would beat us up in school (4)

i'd like all these "boy groups" better if

they were made of waffles (14)
they were on fire (5)
they were all really fat (3)

I think we need

more bacon flavored products (13)
less bacon flavored products (6)

Weatherman make me feel

Superhero (8)
Angry (7)
Wet (5)


Shit (15)
Go Blind (0)

Hottest Animal Butt:

Deer (14)
Koala (7)

put up or shut up?

Put up (22)
Shut up (4)

The cutest religion?

Buddhism (16)
Judaism (5)
Christianity (1)

Which side effect of Propecia are you most likely to get?

Plain olí diarreaha (10)
Migranes and heart palpitations (7)
Damn freaky shakes (3)

The best protection is:

A poison frog that curses (11)
An invisible rotweiler (6)
A ninja bodyguard (6)

the biggest disappointment in the year 2000 is

no flying cars (8)
no robot war (8)
very little shiny silver clothing (5)

2001: A Space Odyssey

not enough monkeys (14)
too many (8)

Jan 1

Nude Years (18)
New Years (4)

The weather outside is

Delightful (11)
Frightful (10)

do these pants make me look fat?

um, i don't see any pants (10)
no (9)
yes (8)

the next president of the united states should be chosen by

a knife fight (michael jackson Beat-It style) (12)
1950's style hot rod game of chicken (9)
a duel (8)

duck. duck. duck.

goose (15)
duck (12)

which is more important when "kicking ass and taking names"?

the actual ass kicking (8)
the taking of names (6)
both, equally (6)

How many times have you seen the movie Logan's Run?

I have only seen parts of it (12)
Less than three (4)
More than three (3)

I like :

rice and beans (12)
beans and rice (7)

I would prefer to :

use the sword for work, but die by the mighty fish pen (11)
die by the sword (4)
live by the sword (2)

I am looking least forward to seeing a Halloween mask that resembles:

darth maul (103)
austin powers (9)

I am more scared of :

spiders and accidental farting (9)
robbers and snakes (6)
pirates (4)

Which one :

Pick Scabs (9)
Don't Pick Scabs (4)

Fridays at work should be :

Pants Optional Friday (13)
Casual Dress Friday (0)

Will you go with me ?

Maybe (7)
Yes (4)
No (1)

Scarier :

Clowns (9)
Flying Monkeys (7)

Which movie was better :

Breaking (7)
Beat Street (1)

What is Labor Day about?

I have no Clue (6)
I know (3)

robots should be...

Allowed to live free in the wild (7)
Domesticated to live with humans (0)

If given the chance to go to outerspace knowing when you returned Earth would be run by apes... would you go?

No (8)
Yes (5)

During Bear attacks, you should :

Swat and yell (5)
Flail and roll (4)


Cats or Dogs?

Cats (9)
Dogs (7)
Those little paper cups full of Cole Slaw that you get at restaurants. Have you ever eaten those?

No (13)
Yes (4)
What is cole slaw(1)
Would you rather watch :

VH1 Behind the Music - Max Headroom (8)
MTV UnPlugged - Yoko Ono (2)

more dangerous to human race :

Disney (7)
MTV (4)

more dangerous to human race :

monkeys (9)
robots (9)

first tie!

question : astronaut or cosmonaut?

cosmonaut (8)
astronaut (3)

question : which movie was better : 'twister' or 'volcano'

twister (7)
volcano (3)

question : have you ever kissed mitch mcgirt

I have kissed mitch (7)
i have not kissed mitch (7)
if i did, i don't remember (8)

question : who's more important, vladimir lenin or john lennon

Lennon (10)

question : Mexico or Canada

Mexico (12)