So, um, Q-Dogg put together this mix-swap thingy, and for various reasons which I won't get into here, I was unable to get it in by the deadline. So I suck.
But I like it, so I'm going to post about it here.
The assignment was to make a mix for your 14 year old self. So that's what I did. Mostly, it's just advice. A couple of presents thrown in. Things like that. So here it is.
Some of these, I'm sure, will look familiar. 1. Grab Them Cakes – The Junk Yard Dog Go ahead. Don't be afraid. Grab them cakes, and grab them now. Don't be shy. The cakes, they want to be grabbed. Of course, don't do what Kobe did.
2. Why Bother – Weezer Bother. Just bother. Grass don't grow unless you throw shit and sunlight on it.
3. You Were Always On My Mind – Willie Nelson Don't be like Willie. (side note – whenever I hear this song, my head sings it "You were always on my mom".) 4. Let's Dance – M Ward This is how it's done, boss. Take something classic, make it your own, and make it hott. Make it yours. And it will be completely unrecognizable from what it used to be.
5. Livin' Life – The Eels You know this, though it hasn't been recorded yet. Don't forget it.
6. Takin' Retards to the Zoo. You're gonna be doin' this all your life. No one does it like you, and those who don't are retards.
7. Ballad in Plain D – Bob Dylan Heed.
8. Something Against You – The Pixies Yeah, I got something against you. Stop being a pussy. You rule, and you know you rule. No, of course you don't know that. But I'm telling you. Also, people are going to give you shit from time to time. Don't take it. Kick their ass. Be the dogg you are. 9. Here – Pavement You're gonna want this 3 years from now. Don't let her run off with that flake on Thanksgiving, cuz you'll never see her again. Consider yourself warned.
10. Pale Blue Eyes – Velvet Underground (from that Roman-numeraled reunion album, which is mostly terrible except for this song) Took these fuckers 20 years to get back together and record what I consider to be the defining version of this song. Linger on.
11. Helter Skelter – The Beatles When you get to the bottom, get back to the top of the slide. Stop. Turn. Go for a ride. Get to the bottom and I'll see you again.
12. Two-Headed Boy Part 2 – Neutral Milk Hotel This is going to hit home 14 from now, when your dad's unable to writhe in the pain he feels on a hospital bed while your retard brother can't get his cheez ballz and you can't bear to face your empty covers in an isolated apartment in New York City far, far away from all of this.
13. I Will Be There When You Die – My Morning Jacket Roberta Sparrow says "every living creature dies alone." This is true. But I will be there when you die. You can bank on that, me.
14. Hurt – Nine Inch Nails I'm singing this to you, little me.
15. The Luckiest – Ben Folds (live) 'Cuz you are, you know?
BONUS TRACK: Don't Be Scared -- Andrew Bird Technically, this is cheating, because I just started listening to Weather Systems today. I just don't feel right leaving this one off. Not for any particular reason other than I like it and it makes me feel pretty.