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post #105
bio: chris

first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

Rally Pants
Are you tired? Life got you down? Feeling stuck?

Need a change of mojo to get you back up on your feet and kissing little girls like it's Prom all over again?

Then maybe Rally Pants are right for you.

Yes. Rally Pants.

Don't look at me like I'm retarded. I'm trying to help you.

Here's how it works... Are you familiar with the concept of the Rally Cap? No? Well, the Rally Cap is a device employed by losing baseball teams all around the world. The players turn their hats inside out and put them back on their heads. This is supposed to be good luck or something.. I don't know.

Now, Rally Caps are all fine and good. But I do have one big, glaring problem with them -- I've never actually seen them work.

Yeah, I don't think rally caps are the way to go. With the rally cap, you're just not taking things far enough to succeed. No, there's just not enough mojo there. Who cares if you're wearing you hat inside out? Not me, and certainly not Jesus.

Instead, why not try Rally Pants? Here's how they work... Take off your pants, turn them inside out, and put them back on again. Voila. Rally Pants. They'll change your life. Sure, you may lose your wallet... but you'll find your mojo.

Yep, people are talking. And they're talking about Rally Pants. Let's listen in!

"A few short months ago, Howard Dean was kicking my prostateless ass coast to coast. Then I made the switch to Rally Pants. Now I get to be the guy who loses to George W. Bush in the 2004 Presidential Election! Yeeeeeeeeahhhhh DOGGIES look at me go!"
--Senator John Kerry, (D) Massachusetts

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
--Former United States President Ronald Wilson Reagan

"I have chunks of Rally Pants in my stool. Yum."
-- A Goat

So there you have it. Rally Pants. Make the switch today.

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