janie porche week: day 2




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Klutch.xls: Janie Porche Week: Day 1
For those of you who are unaware, we Americans take Thursday this week to celebrate the genocide of the indigenous people of this continent. Instead of donating small-pox infested blankets to the less fortunate, we gather with family and friends to eat turnips and re-enact said genocide by slaughtering millions of Turkeys.

We call this "Thanksgiving."

I wonder about all that I have to give thanks for; Fresca, Tofurkey, a pre-ordered Segway, and Janie Porche. You know Janie, right? She saved Christmas (that other cultural institution where Christians assert their authority over perceived non-believers.)

While the 32 other web surfers out there are building fan sights and shrines to Ellen Feiss, I thought I would take the time to thank Janie Porche for not only saving Christmas, but for bringing joy to this poor, crippled child's life. Besides, that Ellen Feiss chick is only 15 (that's right, fifteen, Jaco.) And even if she wasn't, it would take at least half a bottle of NyQuil to get me to hit that.

That's why this week is:

Janie Porche Fan Fiction Week!

We start off the week with a touching tale about a boy, a Guns n' f' n' Roses concert, and Janie Porche (as written by internet message board posters from a Guns and Roses fan site.)

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GUNZ4LIFE:

DOOD AXL HASNT LOST A BIT OF HIS VOICE. THE BUCKET GUY RULZ!!! SOMETHING WAS WACKED OUT NEER THE END AND I THOUGHT THEY WASNT GONNA FINISH THE SHOW. BUT SOME DUMPY CHICK FIXD THE PROBLEM AND AXL CAME BACK ON. SLASH SUX GNR RULZ!!!!!
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Mrs_Brownstone:

I was at the show last night too. They played basically the same set list as usual. In the middle of Paradise City (during the encore) there was a problem and you couldn't hear any of the guitars ansd Axl stormed off the stage. But then some hoochie jumped up on stage and medled with the mixing console, Axl came back out and finised the show. It was amazing!!! Axl is SOOOOOO hot, I hope that chick with the fat ass doesn't get her hands on him . . . . . . . . . . . HE'S MINE!!!
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J_Porche_GunsFan69:

My family went to the Guns and Roses show last night. And we were singing along, showing our tits, and everything. And my Dad, he's really excited for Paradise City, but when they start playing it, it's like "errrrrght." So Axl get's on the internet and starts downloading things for like, an hour. Who want's to sit during a Guns show and download window's drivers? On my powerbook, I just took the pirated MP3's from the Tacoma show and put a cord from the computer to the mixing board and automatically played Paradise City. My name is Janie Porche, and I saved the Guns and Roses Concert!
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STAINEDFAN:

ALL YOU OLD HAIRED ROKERS BETTER GO HOME. YOU BETTER LISEN TO STAINED CAUSE THEY ROCK HARDER THAN AXL IN DUFFS DREAMS!!!! TAKE ALL YOUR JEANSES JACKETS AND CUT YORE HAIR HIPPY11111










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