from happyrobot - updated 6/9/2026 4:35:17 PM https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp en-us https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8504 This probably won't surprise you given my propensity for spelling errors but according to a recent IQ test, I'm a borderline idiot, whereas My bf, Teppie is a borderline genius. Ever since he learned this he's been doing more IQ tests in order to further affirm his brilliance. He's become an ego-maniac!

This all started because our public broadcasting station, the CBC, aired a program called Test the Nation, where people across the country could do their IQ tests on-line or while watching mayors, tattoo-artists, surgeons, fitness instructors, millionaires and Canadian celebrities (whatever that means) also take the test.

The fitness instructors did better than the mayors. Apparently, vegetarians also have higher IQs as do red-heads.

Anyway, you're probably itching to take your own IQ test. Here's one you can try: http://www.mensa.org/workout2.php?

Feel free to share the verdict, especially if like me, you turn out to be an idiot.

]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8484 1. Anyone been to Brazil?
2. Anyone know anyone who's been to Brazil?
3. Anyone have any tips on Brazil?
4. Anyone care to share their Brazil highlights?
5. Anyone who thinks Brazil sucks and would never go there or anywhere?


]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8479 Teppie and I have decided to go for the honeymoon and skip the wedding! So far it's been a long journey in planning. We've gone from Peru to Argentina, the Cook Islands to Hawaii and finally from Vietnam to Brazil.

We may just be settling on Brazil. I mean we've already been to one of the most dangerous countries in the world so we figured we'd settle on Brazil as a close second. We love stressful travel. We thrive on it.

Brazil is looking promising in terms of what we're looking for. Right now we're thinking Rio, The Pantanal and checking out some of the Afro culture in Bahia. We have about three weeks.

Anyone know anybody in Brazil? Been to Brazil? Any highlights you'd like to share? Feel free to inspire us! We'd be enormously grateful
]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8470 Two soul mates, a man and a woman pass each other every day but fail to notice the other. The man still lives with his mother and the woman lives with two old friends. One day, at the same time the man and the woman both decide they want a house of their own. The man calls a real estate agent who recommends a lovely house by the lake and an appointment is booked for noon the next day. The woman also calls a real estate agent who recommends the same lovely house by the lake and books an appointment for 12:30 the next day. Because the man is always late and the woman is always early, the two soul mates finally end up meeting for the first time at the house by the lake. The moment they lay eyes on each other, they envision their entire lives together, the cozy nights in the house, trips, a dog, babies etc. As their perfect life flashes before them, they become so full of love for one another, so full that they explode!

This is a retelling of one of the monologues from Daniel McIvor's Swan Song performance of “House” at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre. Daniel McIvor is sort of like Dr. House but less annoying, funnier and possibly even darker. His play is about a fucked-up but not weird character. The difference he says is that you're born weird but you become fucked up. McIvor gives a great show about his fucked up life and the weird people he meets in group therapy. Filmmaker, Adam Egoyen was in the front row and laughed hysterically the whole time! “House” ends on April 1st. For all you New Yorkers, you should fly in.

“House” was one of the best things that I did this weekend. The second was going to the zoo which was like an icy zoo ghost town, it being winter. We were lucky to able to wander on our own through tropical rain forests amidst the squawking of exotic birds. We befriended a zoo keeper who introduced us to this sweet hornbill who was blind and partly brain damaged because she'd flown into a wall (she was looking the wrong way). This bird was like a cat. She would put her enormous beaked head on your shoulder, let you stroke her feathers and purr in absolute bliss, her long eyelashes fluttering as she struggled to keep her eyes open. I was in love...bird love.

The third best thing of our weekend was yet another play called the Overcoat based on Gogol's short story with the same name. The play tells this beautiful melancholic story without words through a mime like dance like you would see in Silent Films. It's like Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin with moments that reminded me of the movie Modern Times. This was the play's closing night.

Afterwards we went for dessert with our friends. We wanted to talk more about the play but for some reason we couldn't stop talking about food even when we tried to declare a moratorium on the subject.


]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8458 1. Clowns
2. Brides
3. Big Bird
4. Moldy mayonnaise
5. Pig snouts
6. Cauliflower
7. Leisure Suit Larry
8. M & K Olsen
9. Pineapple pop
10. "Zero Comments"]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8448 Quebec continues to talk about separating from Canada...Politics never change here. If it weren't for the US, we'd be bored silly. We appreciate George Bush's entertainment value even he sometimes scares us a little.

It's a lovely sunny day, so lovely and sunny that it's caused a number of car accidents among distracted drivers.

This week, I decided to try a big ball class at the gym. Some of the exercises made me uncomfortable even though I once took a wrestling class where you had to pick people up by their crotches. At least wrestling left you feeling empowered unlike the big ball class. At one point, the teacher had the six of us (all women) straddle our big balls and gyrate back and forth. Then HE gave instructions like, “tighten your thigh grip”, “pulsate” and “faster.” There was a guy at the door looking at us perplexed and another who'd stopped his work-out to watch us. The worst part was while I was smiling at the ridiculousness of it all, the teacher pointed to me and stated how I was really enjoying myself. I really think this was an exercise best done in the comfort of your home while say watching Battlestar.

I never thought I'd be gym girl, you know the whole rat on wheel thing, the whole lemming thing. I've done yoga and rock climbed but the problem is I've never been able to do them with any regularity. One summer when I couldn't move my neck or pick up a spoon thanks to repetitive strange injury, I decide it was a good idea to sign up for a gym.

The germ aspect of the gym is especially difficult for me. I think gyms are disgusting. I read about this celeb. who not only won't set foot in a gym but will only exercise outside. Gyms are gross, what with people in compromising positions on mats leaving their sweat and hair grease behind for someone else to lie in, people rubbing their nose, rubbing themselves and then putting their paws all over the equipment. The other day, after de-sanitizing the squat machine, I accidentally licked the neck rest when I turned my head too quickly. It tasted salty, I was a little horrified.

I'm not going to quit the gym or anything but I thought maybe I'd ask if anyone had any good ideas for exercises at home??? We have free weights and we do the Rodney Yee Yoga video but these can be limiting. I also have the New York Ballet's work out but it's on VHS.


]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8437 Kissed my boyfriend, Teppie this morning and felt nauseous. I think it might have been all the chocolate cookies I ate last night combined with the film of sardines coating his lips.

The front page news says there is a giant ice-cube the size of a Volkswagen hanging from the CN tower. Part of it fell off and virtually crushed a car. I believe the car was not a Volkswagen.

According to a recent poll, Canada and Japan are the most liked countries in the world whereas Israel and Iran are the least. Guess people don't tend to favour countries that begin with the letter “i”. “I” is and has always been a difficult letter.

Our friend, a respected pothead claims the newest Arcade Fire well lives up to all its hype. His lovely girlfriend, Gigi, who hates pot, recommended us to Lily Allen. We immediately went out and bought her CD. At first I was a little leery when I heard it was available at Starbucks but it's really grown on me and Teppie too, who loves the song, Alfie, a plea from Lily to her brother who smokes pot all day in his bedroom.

Last week, I was quite disturbed to discover that of the 100 most important novels listed in the New York Times I've only read 12. Of the guardian list I've read 15. This disturbed me because I have a degree in English although some of the books on the very Brit centric list are oddly obscure titles. I'm now reading Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. This particular translation was on Oprah's list of must reads which worries me somewhat. The book reminds me a little bit of Oprah's show.

What is the most important, influential book you've ever read? I think Happyrobot should have it's own list in addition to a list of the most influential foods people have ever eaten.

]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8428 This blog is for all the fantabulous Happy Robot people who have welcomed me on to this site and for Mr. Happy Robot in all his delightful glory. Hope you enjoy this treat and that it fills your home with warmth and good smells. If it doesn't, well, you've probably been cooking them for too long and your goodies are no longer good.

This is a recipe for the best Choco Chip cookies ever. They're so awesome that whenever I make them I feel the need to knock on various neighbors doors and offer them some
right off the pan. I don't really know my neighbors that well so sometimes they look a little taken a back. It's possible they think there's something wrong with them. Maybe they don't like cookies or they just want to be left alone. Maybe, it's weird to show up at people's homes you don't really know and offer them treats.

It's amazing how being nice to someone can freak them out. In fact, I've found that if someone's being a real asshole, being sickly sweetly nice to them will pack more punch than punching them out. Their assholeness becomes that much more apparent to them. This takes all the fun out of being an asshole.

Anyway, back to the cookies...What's especially shocking is that these cookies come from a vegan cookbook, a cookbook so phenominal and with such easy recipies that they acutally make non-vegans like me into wannabes. This one is called "How It Vegan" by these very cool tatood chicks named Tanya Bernard and Sarah Kramer. I've revised the recipe just a little bit....cuz change is good. For those of you who feel squeamish around vegan food, I also have a recipe for deep fried squirrel if you're interested. I've yet to try it.

For the cookies you will need:

3/4 cup flower
2 cups rolled oat flakes (the quick cooking kind are best)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 banana
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
1 tbsp vanilla extract
however many choco chips you want, the higher quality and the more bitter sweet the better (just like life). I use Giaradelli or however you spell that.

The How It Vegan chicks say to preheat the oven to 350 F. In a large bowl, stir together all dried stuff (flour, rolled oats, baking soda, baking powder and salt). In a blender, blend wet stuff: banana, oil, maple syrup and vanilla. Pour blended suff into the dry stuff in the large bowl. Spoon heaping tbsp of dough onto cookie sheet and press the sticky mixture with your fingers. Lick your fingers or better yet get someone else to lick them. Be sure to wash your hands well afterwards. Bake 12ish minutes until edges are browned.

Bonne Appetite!

]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/bad_chicken.asp?id=8415 I'm a newbie here on Happy Robot. Since nobody really knows who I am I thought this fantastically narcissistic list of 50 things about me might help. I got the idea from one of pony's entries which I thought was inspiringly witty. If you have nothing better to do, read on...

1. People say I look like Meg Ryan, Woody Allen, Molly Ringwald and Queen Elizabeth

2. Robert Munch made up a story about my hair on Book Television

3. I often invent show tunes in my head but I don't really like musicals

4. My father died just before the millennium, I have my father's hands

5. I've never popped a zit in my life and never will

6. I don't shave because I have little hair on my body but lots on my head

7. I wish Al Gore were the Prime Minister of Canada, I'd be so proud

8. My mother used to always tell me I was pretty but I wanted her to tell me I was smart

9. I have an undershirt from when I was 11 that still fits me

10. My dream is to have my own talk show

11. I can't stand stinginess

12. I predict I will die of Cancer even though I've yet to be diagnosed

13. Some of the most inspired moments of my life have been with strangers

14. I like all the doors closed when I'm asleep

15. My nickname is Goo

16. I'm told I walk like a baby elephant

17. My farts smell like fermented fruit

18. My father often recited Shakespeare to me at the dinner table, he had a British accent

19. On the treadmill at my gym, I wave to people outside in their cars and they wave back

20. I don't like Stephen Spielberg movies

21. I sleep with an eye guard and ear plugs every night

22. The movie Elizabeth made me move back to Toronto

23. Hallelujah by Jeff Beck is the sexiest song ever.

24. My job is to approach people I don't know and ask them questions

25. I've been keeping a diary since I was 11

26. I have no addictions but I am obsessive

27. I often get into television shows years after they've aired

28. I once chatted with Mr. T on my way to school. He was filming in my neighbourhood

29. I'm afraid of the sun

30. I interviewed Derek Jeter in his dressing room and had no idea who he was

31. I watch kids cartoons when I first wake up

32. I think I laughed the least when I was dating a comedian

33. My brother and I used to put Tabasco sauce on each other's toothbrushes

34. I prefer to sit on the fence so I can see both sides

35. Every night before I go to bed I try to think of three good things that happened that day

36. I'd describe myself as a cheerful cynic

37. Sometimes I find optimists to be insincere

38. I think asking for a plastic bag is like saying you'd like global warming with your groceries

39. I hate puns

40. I did an English degree but I hardly ever read books

41. Coating vegetables in cream and cheese is insulting to the vegetables

42. I find it a relief to talk about death

43. I can summon animals at will but only in Africa

44. I once got chased by a scorpion

45. On my first solo trip, I went to India

46. I'm not sure if marriage is necessary

47. I'm a Taurus. I like moss.

48. The first word I ever learned was artery

49. I still don't know all of my times tables

50. I knew he was the one when he threw up on the plane
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