"heart of life" on repeat and a glass of some "see ya Later" Pinot Noir. And a laptop. and my reply...
I was missing things tonight. I was missing my life. Not like it was gone and I wanted it back, but rather that it was something much like a tv show and I got home late from somewhere and missed it. Or a baseball, that damned if I try, I just couldn't hit. and I was missing it. Strike one! two! three!
I was missing the sore shoulder I get from playing guitar too much. that line that remains on my the sesitive part of my arm when I lean it on the top of my guitar. I was missing that feeling of resting my chin on the wood and feeling the chords in my teeth like when I was a kid and I used to sit up at the front of my family's tin boat and rest my chin on the metal bow and let the hum of the motor vibtrate through my skull.
I was missing the feeling of his head against my chest and his hair in my fingers and the smell of wood in his neck. Sawdust stuck on sweat.
I was missing hearing him say "I love you so much" lying sideways in the dark, just before sleep.
I was missing the kind of friends that sit beside you and say nothing for hours. I was missing the front seat on a long summer car ride with good tunes and a beer between my knees.
I was missing my mother.
I was missing your cooking.
So I went for a walk and came home and did my dishes and wrote a song and then this email.
thanks for being the kind of person that understands them.