honky cracker: The Honky Cracker Film Festival 2003 Inspired by the latest installment of Lisa Says, I decided to share with you all the movies I would make if I were ever a filmmaker. Now, my selections are a bit more rough than Lisa's, so viewer beware. Also, I like my titles to firmly state what it is the viewer will see. I like to include the Star or Stars names in the title, and also what exactly will happen to them. So without further adue, I present to you the Honky Cracker Film Festivall2003
Eaten by Lions -- The Russell Crowe Story
Charles Bronson Kills Everything
Requiem for John Mayer Exactly like the last twenty minutes of Requiem for a Dream, only everything that happens to the individual characters in "Dream" happens to John Mayer Simultaneously over a 2 1/2 hour span
From the maker's of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and Bram Stoker's Dracula comes... Vin Diesel's Deliverance (possibly co-starring John Mayer in the Ned Beatty role)
You've Got Bloody Fecophiliac Porn in your Mailbox starring G.G. Allin and Meg Ryan Meg Ryan plays a bookseller stalked by G.G. Allin. This movie ends with Meg Ryan transforming into either an angel or Jim Morrison.
Music Video: We Are All Made of Stars, but Moby is Made of these once-Vital Organs
Mike Tyson's Punch Out After knocking out Clifford Etienne in 49 seconds, Mike Tyson said something to the effect of "I like to get high. I like to spend time with kids. I like to drink." So in this reality film, we're locking Mike Tyson in a 12X8 room with an quap of marijauna, a case of Courvoisier, a case of Cristal and three six year olds for two hours just to see what happens. Directed by Snoop Doggy Dogg.
and finally
Philip Seymour Hoffman IS Jeffrey Dahmer AS Father John Geoghan -- A Roman Polanski film. Soundtrack by R Kelly, Michael Jackson, and Pete Townshend
