New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country
:: part 3 ::

Robert Frost

Class of 2000

:: part 2 ::

Update: Post-Traumatic Dating Disorder (PTDD)

The Republican

The Deceiver

The Absolute Worst Date Ever

Mr. Migraine

Little Side Burn Guy

The Hanger On


Smelly Cat

:: part 1 ::

No Socks Guy

The Shrub



the yogi

Mr. Playoffs

the dodge

the yawner


the wedding guy

The 40 Year-old Orthopedic Surgeon


Philosophy Guy

Spanking the Yogi

  :: smelly cat ::
When I was still in post-Flatch recovery, I met Smelly Cat at a bar when I was out with Cindy. He was with a friend and the four of us started talking. I talked to Smelly Cat and Cindy talked to the other guy. (I didn't figure out he was Smelly Cat until we actually went on a date).

He was pretty cute, had a nice smile, but funny teeth. He was a drummer. He asked for my number so I gave him my cell. He called the next day and we went out for a drink. I knew we would have nothing in common, but I was still sad about Flatch and wanted a distraction.

Unfortunately, he had really bad breath and generally smelled like personal hygiene was not his A-numero uno concern. Like maybe he had been "jamming" all day and didn't have time to shower. He also was wearing a weird sort of fake Guatamalan print patterned jacket which was not at all cool, even in an artsy way. He gave me his band's CD. I am no huge music expert, but it was this weird techno crap that was unlistenable. After our date, he left me several desperate messages on my cell phone including one that said, "I have a funny feeling in my stomach that we were meant to meet." Dude, take a tums.