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2002:March:8
Greetings gentle reader. I trust that all is well with you all this evening? I have missed you so. I almost did not write to you again this evening due to, yes, that is right you guessed it pure T laziness. Well, actually I was just about to thrust myself into a freaky cleaning of my house. Then, of course, bills and laundry to follow. Filth! Writing or any art or passion should be pursued first. Sure, one has to keep up with all of the above but I think we have to find a way to make all of this secondary.
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
Where do I start? Well, the cleaning, oh vey!, I like if my house is messy because my friends have been over. It is always a drag to clean a house that never gets dirty. Have people over gentle reader, I know, we are all getting older and more set in our ways, but consider the advantages. Memories, making memories, my heart always just sinks when I am driving home from work. I always sit at the light on Market St. with the stone church on the corner with a sign that says "taking hungry souls" or something of that nature. Sigh. Well, it is not that, so much as it is the trees. Ah the trees, I think about how I will miss this place, these wonderful friends, and this charmed, sometimes, little life that we live that is sometimes happy, sometimes sad, and so very easy to disappear from. I want to disappear sometimes too, gentle reader. Trust me, it will not ever go away completely for you either. We will always have that feeling you and I . But do not ever forget how wonderful all of you are right now. I am not saying things will not get better, just different. You stop wanting the things that you want if you put them off for long enough. Savor the now, do something, even if you are scared it is going to be wrong. Where might I disappear to you ask? I would disappear into myself. I would move to a town that I had never been to before. Take voice lessons on the sly, dye my hair or something, get in great shape, write constantly and be content with my life, at the moment, with my cats and with the possibility that things would remain relatively the same because I would be a complete recluse if I truly induldged myself. But then, of course, I just love people and interacting and all that jazz. But would it not be safe to say, gentle reader, that our daily grind is just cracked? Myself, I put on quite the show for work, as I am sure you do as well. I think I have this need to escape and transform myself because I so desire to bring something new to the table, a borscht of sorts you might say. I want, hmmm..., I so seldom preface anything with that anymore. So, I want this art commune kind of thing. It is time to buy a house or do something drastic,etc. I would love a restaurant/ studio space/ movie theatre/ gallery/ etc./ warehouse type space that I could live above. I want to create a space that is constantly changing and creating. I think I want to run away because I am afraid of changing in front of myself with my memories, my hangups. But I think, now that I see it in front of me, that this will be with me and you as well as long as we allow it to be such. It will all be so different so soon, sooner than you think, let it all hang out, right now..........
"Free your mind/and your body will follow" Yes, cornball, I know but I think this is where we need to go together. Funny, glancing at the above, considering a closing statement, I realize that I am transforming right now in front of you.
Thank you again gentle reader. Trust yourself and you too shall revel in all that comes your way.
Peace out.




›post #7
›bio: michael
›perma-link
›3/8/2002
›20:34

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