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post #61
bio: chris

first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

whacked pretty hard
Don'tcha hate when this happens?

I'm sittin' around on the porch the other day, minding my own business… revisiting the weekend and all the days events, people I've seen, stuff like that… remember this one girl I bumped into over the weekend. You know, no big whoop. And then suddenly it hits. You know. That stupid little sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach/Some little wussy baby voice in the back of your heads coos an "awww"/you suddenly not only want to but feel capable of achieving superhuman feats of strength and endurance/you want to sing really stupid songs at the top of your lungs and you don't care who hears you.

Crap. I'm crushin' on a girl again. Dammit.

This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought I removed all my crush instincts when I upgraded to Honkycracker XP! No fair! I don't even know this girl! How can I possibly have a crush on her? Me. The Honkycracker. Fiercely independent. Adamantly lonerish. I can't be crushin' on a girl. I didn't even know I did, til right now! Aw, man! Shit. Now what am I gonna do?

Whoa. There goes that singing voice in the back of my head again. I better go shoot the thing in the face before it makes me do something REALLY stupid, like buy somebody flowers or something.

Wait. Perhaps there's a logical explanation for this. I've been sick to my stomach for the past two days. Yep, that's gotta be it. Somethin's all wonky with the Honkycracker XP Virus Detection programmamajig, and it let a little crush virus in and worm through my system. Nothing my IT guy can't fix. Oh, wait. My IT guy is in San Antonio. Crap!

Okay. Good. There. Voice is gone. Perhaps if I go off and vomit I'll feel better. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

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