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post #78
bio: chris

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Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

More Fun at the Local Pub (Soldiers Have No Sense of Humor)
So my friend and I are outside, smoking a cigarette, and having a lovely chat with a fellow smoking female bar patron.
Mid-smoke, a very large, very drunk man decides it isn't right that two relatively short-statured, unassuming guys such as ourselves are able to strike up a conversation with a female bar patron while female bar patrons keep running away from him. (You should've seen him try to hit on the bartender. Pathetic. My heart actually started to go out to him.)
He barges his large ass into our conversation and loudly boasts, "Yeah, I was a soldier" as he lights up his cigarette. "I got a Purple Heart."
Smart-ass pissed off me says to our fellow smoking female bar patron compatriot, "Yeah, but he got it from all the smoking."
I thought that man was going to try and kill me.
"No! I got it cuz I got shot! In GRENADA!"

I wanted so badly to say "I'm a computer. Stop all the downloadin'." But I thought I'd stop. The downloading, that is.

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