Ladies and Gentlemen of Red Sox Nation, I give you Curt M*thaf*ckin' Schilling!
Eat a big, fat Red Sox dick, Steinbrenner! You wanted him. We got him. Go ahead and get Sheffield. Red Sox Nation and I could give two shits. He's a headcase, and The Big Schill OWNS him. Can you say, "Danny Tartabull 2004"?
Just hope to hell that you can re-sign Pettitte, cuz that's your only tiny, malnourished, meager, impotent hope. And even if you do, we'll still whup y'all in 2004. Bucky Dent isn't walking through that door. Reggie Jackson isn't walking through that door. Goose Gossage isn't walking through that door, folks. And if they do, they'll be old and gray.
Did I mention that Fat Ass (Roger Clemens) has retired? And he ain't comin' back.
Memories of Aaron Boone fading... fading REAL fast.