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post #156
bio: chris

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first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

Golden Showers Bring May Flowers
I did not see my shadow when I got out of bed this morning.

The first thing I saw this morning was my reflection in the toilet as I drained my proverbial groundhog.

I guess this means six more weeks of gettin' pissed on, followed by a long slow swirling flush.

That's cool. You know what they say. "Golden Showers bring May flowers."

Which got me to thinkin'. What if it actually rained pee? Could you imagine the weather reports on local TV stations?

"Cloudy, with a chance of urine."

"It's a little drizzly out there today. You might want to wear your Pee Coat."

"The forecast: Some sun this morning. Then, as you see on the Doppler radar screen here, this giant urethra moves in sometime early this afternoon. We'll experience short, frequent heavy showers all through the night, as this storm performs its Kegel exercises."

"Some of you along the coastline may experience about ten to twelve inches."

"... but what we're really concerned about is the jet stream potentially causing this storm to turn around and back up on us, dumping several inches of feces on the Greater Hartford area."

But oh, the flowers.

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