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post #75
bio: chris

wish list
first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

I'll Stay Home Forever, Where Two and Two Always Makes a Five, but Today 5+5=10 (5 Questions + 5 Questions)
Are you such a dreamer to put the world to rights?

Anyways, let's do this...

Yeah woo-hoo happy Friday. It's Happy Friday Happyrobot fun time! Here are the 5, plus Liz's 5. This may be a bit terse, but I'm running out of lunch break.

1.What makes you cringe?

What doesn't make me cringe?

Dashboard Confessional makes me cringe. The "ass-to-ass" scene in Requiem for a Dream. The DLC. The Vasectomy Channel. Those one-strap sleevey lookin' shirts all the girlies were wearing this summer. I mean, those things just scream "I'm a slut". Public displays of affection. Popsicle sticks.

All 120-something minutes of this

2.Glass: is it half full or half empty? And if it's half full, what is it half full of? If it's half empty, was it good?
Do you need me to top it off for you?

I'm sure that this will come as a shock to most of you who know me, but the glass is half-full. And today, it's half full of Scotch. Johnnie Walker Gold. (thanks for the recommendation, Rich.)

There have been plenty of times when the glass has been completely empty, so when it's half-full, I am thankful hat I still have something to drink. Even if it's leftover urine.

And top this shiznit off!

3.Are you registered to vote?

Yes. Independent. When I was 18, I registered as a democrat, but those fuckers piss me off, too. (see Lieberman, Joe and Gore, Al)

4.If you could be George Bush for an hour, what fun hijinks would you get George into?

Aw, man Rich! You beat me to it. I wanted to make him sing Baby Got Back, too.

Actually, I'd send him over to England and make him seduce Tony Blair. I'd also make him use the phrase "ass-to-ass" in there at some point.

"C'mon, Tony. Be a uniter, not a divider. Ass to ass."

I'd also make him dress up in a Saddam Hussein disguise and sing "You Lost that Lovin' Feelin'" at a Karaoke bar.

I'd also make him sing "Don't Go Messin' with a Country Boy" by Hillbilly Jim (off The Wrestling Album).

I'd also like to say that people who keep hounding me on my lunch break to do shit for ‘em totally suck ass. I have shit to do here, folks.


5. Is there anything more annoying than politicians running for office? If so, tell me.

See above statement.

And now for Ashidome's questions.

1. are you a top or a bottom?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

2. your most embarrassing moment in grade school was...

The time I sat in dogshit while waiting to compete in the long jump on field day. Although the time I got whipped with wet towels by the entire boys locker room is right up there. But that was in Jr. High. Does that count?

3. what was your silliest nickname?
Big Blew. Or Rogaine Monoxidil.

4. if you could have any animal in the world as a pet, which would you choose?

A wombat. You have no idea how much I want a pet Wombat. I'd name him Charles Michael Kittredge Thompson V, or Black Francis Jr. for short.

5.penguins. love or hate? why?

Love. They taste like chicken.

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