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post #74
bio: chris

wish list
first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

Grad School? (Gettin' Picked Up at Lunch)
I was all set to write a charming little piece on the lovely and talented Gilmore Girls when this had to happen. And I can't let it go without writing about it on the Robot.

So around 11:00 today I went outside for my morning smoke break. Nothing out of the ordinary. I usually stand outside. People leave me alone. It's nice.

Well today I'm out there, and I see this girl walking by on my left. Now, usually, I wait to exhale until the person walking by is past me. That way I don't blow smoke in their face. But this girl, she's walking slowly. A little too slowly.

"Hey," she says, "you know any good places to eat around here?"

Nobody ever talks here. Nobody.

So I tell her what's around, foodwise. She chats for a bit.. making that "I don't want to leave so I'm just going to stick around until something happens" face. But me, I've got to get back to work. So I do.

Then around 12:30 I go back outside for lunch, back to my smoking spot, and she comes back.

"Did you find any food?" I asked her.

"Oh yeah. Got some California wrap kinda thing. Have you been out here the whole time?"

So we get to talking. There are some awkward pauses. She stays around. She even bums a cigarette.

By the way she lights and smokes it, I can tell that she's not a smoker.

More talking. And that little light goes on my head. You know, the "This Girl is Trying to Pick You Up" light. That light never gets enough use.

This is weird. I'm getting picked up at work.

Turns out she's in town from Seattle. Doesn't really have anyone to hang out with.

"So what are you doing in Boston?" I ask.

"Oh, I'm thinking of going to school here."

"Grad school?"

"No. Undergrad."

I am so getting picked up by a high school chick on my lunch break. WTF?

So this is where the "TROUBLE" light goes on in my head. On the one hand, she's nice and I feel bad ‘cuz she's here in town all by herself. But, on the other hand, she's in HIGH SCHOOL and IN TOWN and ALL BY HERSELF.

What in the holy hell is goin' on here? I'm at work. This is my lunch break.

I think I heard Rod Serling mumble something in the background.

She lingers. She wants my number, but there is no way in hell I'm giving it to her. Which is too bad, cuz she seems like a fine, upstanding citizen who might be fun to hang out with.

In about four years.

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