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post #73
bio: chris

wish list
first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

Friends of P
So, we all have that friend or acquaintance who quotes Swingers WAYYYYY too much. Am I wrong? Seems to me that everybody knows someone who keeps spouting off quotes from that movie. Infact, I can think of at least two or three people I know who do that, so if you don't have one, you can borrow one of mine.

Anyways, in honor of That Guy/Girl Who Quotes Swingers Way too Often, I'm scattering random Swingers quotes all throughout my post.

Thank you,
The Management

It isn't me, it's Roenick.

All right, beautiful babies. It goes a little somethin' like this. Hit it.

Let's see… I have this friend. We'll call him P. I've known P pretty much my whole life. He's a Honkycracker lifer. (Honkycracker4Life! Reprazent!) One of my best friends of all time. He's wicked money, and we all know it.

Well P, P's a painter, and last week he had an exhibit show or whatever the hell it is painters have to show off their paintings. That was fun. Wine. Cheese. Books. Paint. Good times, good times.

After the show, P comes up to me… oh, wait…

"Wait I'm gonna do my thing with the thing."

Okay, so P comes up to me after the show and he goes "Hey, do you know my friend (we'll call her, oh, Baca Lau) Baca Lau?"

Yes, I knew who Baca Lau was.

"Well, Baca Lau just came up to me, and she said ‘hey, who's the guy in the green jacket? He's a babe!'"

I was wearing a green jacket.

("You're so money and you don't even know it.)

So P gets this great idea that we're all gonna go to a Halloween Party on Saturday. Great. I'm psyched all week. Doing stupid little dances and crap when nobodies looking. Whoopedy doo. I put together a costume. Got up and went.

Been there for like an hour. Met this other fantastic, funny, wonderful little lady. (We'll call her Mokey.) But then Baca Lau showed up, and, well, since I was there for Baca Lau, I felt I should get up and talk to her.

I left Mokey behind.

So a few minutes later, P comes up to me. "Yeah, I didn't realize this, but (oh, we'll call him Gobo) Gobo was wearing a green jacket that night too, and she was talking about Gobo."

("I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.)

They all had a laugh. I had a vodka shot.

And Mokey, well, she left a little while after that, and now I'll never see her again.

(Someday I'm gonna re-write this. There's actually a better story here, but I have no more time left on my lunch break and figured I'd post something while I can.)

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