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post #184
bio: chris
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11/11/2005
10:40

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Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)
Serendipity






You Like Movies? I Gotcher Damn Movies

THE ICE STORM a postscript to this story, I saw the Ice Storm with "Nice Breasts, I Gotta Go" Girl. I'm not sure if I thought it was a date or not or what it probably was and wasn't but whatever. It was kind of awkward at first, but, you know, probably the right movie for the situation. Cold, then warm, with lots of middling awkwardness in between. Perfect for non-committal snuggling.

Nothing ever came of that, the date or whatever. But it's just a nice memory. A "hey do you wanna go to the movies" followed by actually going to the movies. One little isolated afternoon frozen in time, like a museum piece you keep going back to look at.

CANNIBAL, THE MUSCIAL
Might as well call this one "Cannabis, The Musical". Post-rehearsal get-togethers at Jon H's where we'd hit the ol' pipe and bitch about how much we all hate each other. Dread Pirate Davey and I would go on and on about how we were both in love with the same girl, and then devise ways for the other to actually get the girl. Bros before ho's, man. Bros before ho's.

Then we'd watch a stop-motion movie that Jon made of hit marijuana plant going.

"Spedoikel" became a staple of our vocabulary. That alone was worth the viewing.


SALO, THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM -- Maybe I'm a giant pussy, but I dare anyone to watch this from start to finish.

So the story goes, a male prostitute murdered director Pier Paulo Pasolini in the belief that anyone capable of coming up with the plot/events/ideas for this film did not deserve to live.

The first time I tried to watch this, I got about 40 minutes in. Right up to the part where the nazi captors rape their prisoners while forcing them to eat shit.

The second time I tried to watch this, I forced myself to make it through the whole thing, then showered for about three hours. My roommates who watched it with me and I didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. (although, maybe that's because they were pissed at me because I occupied the bathroom for three hours)


TANK GIRL -- Oh, fuck yeah! Took my first ever bong rip during this movie. Then I ate an entire box of ho-ho's. I don't remember anything about this movie other than a) Ice-T was a dog who was getting' it on with Gwen Stefani and b) I'm marrying Jet Girl as soon as I finish my ho-ho's.


GILLIGAN'S THIGHLAND Cast party. Midget porn. Gilligan. Not proud of this.



HENRY FOOL -- One of my all-time favorite films. Hal Hartley was supposedly going to be teaching my acting practicum second semester of senior year. (Which is kind of odd, especially if you've ever seen a Hal Hartley film. The acting is very, well, specific to his directing style.) That, of course, never ended up happening. But if you ever want to propose to a woman while spewing large amounts of liquid feces from your anus, this is your movie.

THE RAY-RAY FOURTH OF JULY SPECATCULAR This isn't a movie. This is just a video of my old roommate Ray-Ray blowing up a lot of shit with M100's. Whole chickens, cases of Hi-C, garbage cans, sausage... okay, rally I guess it's not that great. But there's this one part where Ray-Ray traps the M100 under a plastic garbage can, and the garbage can flies like 30 feet in the air, lands on a car, and sets off a fire alarm. Good times.

SKAQUA FRESH
a drunken documentary about my fake ska band, Skaqua Fresh. Filmed over winter break in my friend Ellen's dorm room, this film is all about my buddy Dave and I drinking lots of beer, and playing third-wave ska on a casio keyboard and acoustic guitar. We improvised a fake fight over Ellen, which turned into a real fight over Ellen, and ends with minty fresh breath.

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