It's going to be a weird one today. I can feel it. For one thing, it was 70 degrees when I left work last night and it is snowing like mad at this very moment.
In honor of the weirdness, and a lack of thematic unity, I am going to just continue to add little impressions of my day to this entry as the day progresses. So, keep reading or you may just miss something hysterically boring.
9:26- guy near me told girl next to me that "sometime you get this look, like you swallowed a cat or something."
9:36- i wonder what it would be like to see someone swallow a cat. I think I saw a cartoon where that happened. Long ago. Oh wait, she didn't swallow the cat, she ... never mind. It was a dirty cartoon.
10:01- Someone yesterday gave a shout out to Pam E. in the all the birthday comments yesterday and they were so right. Pam, if you read this, I remember when we were 18 and drank a bottle of someone else's whiskey and tried to make out; it was too funny, too awkward, and that was that. Also, Pam and Matty J were the two people in this world who were with me for my 30th birthday. Sweetheart, you are not forgotten. And neither is Christine G./D., mother of multitudes. All the children in the world won't wipe away the memory of you confessing to me your worry as a college freshman that everytime you had a little drink in you, you started beating up some guy. God, you're one of the good ones. I hope the men in your life are keeping you sober and happy and that your babies grow up listening to the Ramones.
11:23- A girl in the hall was walking along clapping her hands to some unheard jumprope rhythm. She saw me and kept on clapping, making eye contact the whole time.
12:08- Decide to skip lunch as it is too icy to drive anywhere. Sorry Pony, but I didn't have the energy to pack a sandwich (pathetic, I know). So instead, I starve. Fortunately, this job requires no calories and I can smoke and drink as much coffee as I want. Still, the tummy grumbles.
12:19- doing research on my new employer, i just found out that the president of Update Legal is actually one year younger than I am. Weird.
12:25- I was wrong. It was an old press clipping. He's four years older than I am. Whew.
12:44- At Barnes and Noble Friday night, they played the same song no less than 20 times in a row. These leads me to one of three conclusions: (1) the clerk at the CD player was autistic or four years old; (2) they wanted to, and did, drive me out of the store; (3) their marketing people are morons/geniuses (for every person they annoyed to the point of psychotic ruin, four may have bought the damn CD).
1:20- There's a sign at my office that reads: "Alarmed 24 Hours." Can you imagine? It made me make an alarmed face.