Robot Journal from happyrobot - updated 5/20/2013 11:35:23 AM http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp en-us <![CDATA[Aloha Kauai! We return to Hawaii. Ribs are eaten.]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10515 End of day #2
“Kauaʻi or Kauai, it is the fourth largest of the main islands in the Hawaiian archipelago, and the 21st largest island in the United States”

True Fact!
My brain did not want to spell “Kauai” correctly and only around the last day did it willingly do it.


“We got a place”
Back in January or so, our pal (we’ll call him “Matt (A)”) calls us to say the following:
- “I have a major birthday coming up”
- “I’m going to Hawaii with my family”
- “I’m renting a big house”
- “Do you want to come along?”

The answer to that last question was “Yes” - especially after we looked at how strangely affordable the prices for airfare were. Hawaii here we come!


Here’s what we did for the past week
We swam in the ocean and paddle boarded and walked on the sand and sabered bottles of Champagne and rode horses and jumped off rocks and went to bed very early and woke up very early and ate well and laughed and some people cried and some people ran around without clothes on all the time (but, they were 2 years old).


Birthday Dinner
Group Photo (and leaning)To celebrate the BIG birthday of our pal, last Wednesday we all donned white and opened bottles of champagne (with knives) and ate ribs. You may be asking, “Wait! You all ate ribs while wearing all white?!?”
Yes. That’s how we rolled.
No messes amazingly.


Logistics
You can fly directly to Kauai, which surprised me as I assumed you had to connect in Honolulu. On the flight out, it was fine. We left very early from JFK and landed at LAX and then out to Kauai - about ten hours in the air.

Because of a scheduling snafu with the house we were renting, everyone stayed in a hotel the first night. We stayed at Marriott's Kaua'i Beach Club in the town of Lihue (pronounced entertainingly as “La-who-we”). The night of arrival we had dinner at Sushi Katsu located in the lobby of the Tip Top Motel. Quirky and lo-fi and BYOB and awesome. Sushi is our go-to jet-lag just-arrived comfort food.
The Marriott resort place was fine. The room was pretty non-descript (and short) but they had a nice beach and a suspiciously delicious brunch the next day (via jet lag, we were one of the first people there). The pool was about the size of lower Manhattan.

After our night in Lihue (LA WHO WEE!) we drove up the west coast and tried to view the amazing Waimea Canyon.
“Waimea Canyon, also known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific, is a large canyon, approximately ten miles long and up to 3,000 feet deep, located on the western side of Kauai”

Oh, did I mention that Kauai is the rainiest place in the universe? No? We totally got poured on and saw some beautiful... clouds. That was about it. D’oh!


I have a case of the Mondays / View from the kitchen
Hanalei!
After getting rained on and then stopping for tacos, a case of wine, and some rum (and rum cake!) we made our way back around the island and up to the north side to the town of Hanalei where the rental house was. Hanalei is a small town that sits on Hanalei Bay - this is where we swam a lot.
It was lovely. From our house we had a great view of the neighboring mountains and we were steps away from the beach (as long as “steps” means “crossing the street”).

We had 8 adults and one small adult in the house (big house with separate apartment downstairs) and it worked out well. Someone suggested that each couple take one night to cook dinner which was a really clever and practical idea. On our night, we put together our favorite ‘super food’ salad of kale and avocado and these addictive rosemary and olive oil flavored macadamia nuts alongside my favorite chunky-style gazpacho accompanied by shrimp. It somehow worked out excellently.


Queen's Bath
Things we did
Queen’s Bath: This is a pool in a lava shelf. Fun to swim in. I jumped off a rock. Tons of turtles (massive turtles) swimming in the surf outside of it.


The Kalalau Trail: “11 mile trail that leads from Ke'e Beach to Kalalau Beach.” Depeding on the weather, this is a fun little hike or a pain-in-the-butt hike. We had a bit of both as the weather changed from ‘nice’ to ‘really hot’ to ‘pouring rain’ within a few hours. Great views!


Farmers Market: There are a number of farmers markets and since we needed to buy lots of food, this was handy. We met a woman who sold her garlic and tumeric to a local organic shop here in Brooklyn. Small world.


Anini Beach
Anini Beach: Great beach that is protected by reefs and is almost completely still and flat. Great if you have small children around.


The Waiakalua Beaches: Very pretty beaches. Stunning. You don’t want to go swimming there, at least the day we were there. The waves and tides are crazy rough. Oh, and it was super hot.


Hanalei Bay: We swam and paddle-boarded here. For the majority of the time, it was awesome. They had a sand bar fairly far out, so there was this big expanse of area to swim in. The waters were clear and the ocean would send these sets of awesome waves to body surf from time to time.
Then on the last day, it went all loco and the rip currents showed up. Get out.


Horseback Riding: We went horseback riding one day at a local ranch. Apart from the fact that I think my horse didn’t like me, it was a fun hour or so.


The Na Pali Coast Boat Tours: Mrs. Robot and I didn’t do this boat tour but other people in our group did. In hindsight, maybe we should have tagged along as it looked amazing.

]]> <![CDATA[The Lima Bean Hour]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10513

WUAG
At the intellectual powerhouse that is the University of North Carolina at Greensboro lives a tiny radio station with enough wattage to broadcast literally a mile off of campus.
As a fresh man, my roommate David and I had the valuable and highly in demand slot of 1am to 4am on Wednesday nights our first semester. I think that was right.
Whatever it was, it wrecked havoc on my education career.
The next semester I was able to move to the much more pleasant 10pm to 1am on Tuesday nights. I had a small notebook that I’m sure is in this apartment somewhere where I listed what I wanted to play every week and even had a short list of ‘standards’ that I’d play every week. No idea what was on that list, but I imagine it’d make my cringe something fierce today.


Nerding Out
Like every dumb white guy who had a radio show in college (“Wow! You had a radio show in college?!”, says nobody excitedly) this was a huge opportunity to geek out over music. As a child, I had spent many hours in record stores and spent many allowances on 45 records (I’m old) but working at the radio station was a friggin’ candy store (if I was a kid and liked candy).
Bands were sending us records. There were stacks and stacks of records. Bands sent us little oddball releases that you couldn’t buy.
It was wonderful. I bought a lot of TDK SA90s to record everything and would drown friends and love-interests with cassettes of stuff.


Fired Twice
I was fired twice. That stunk.
Damn Woody! (rest in peace)
In one of those later years (junior or senior) I was offered a “job” on the “executive board”. I was “promotions manager”.
Honestly, I have no idea what I was supposed to do and I fear that I did nothing.
But, what it meant was that I had an office (or a desk in an office) and a phone and a set of keys. Oh, the keys. The keys were the best.


Four Track
Probably my favorite was the four-track in the production room that I spent many late hours with making noisy things. If I had the space and a bit of cash, I’d totally recreate that production room now with the two Technics turntables and the fancy reel-to-reel four track. Good times.


Newspaper Article
The notorious (in that he passed out on our porch once) newspaper columnist in our little city once came by and interviewed me and wrote an article about college radio. I was featured in the newspaper. My grandmother thought that was great.

March 27, 1990 - It's just another manic Tuesday night here in Anti-Radio Land, which means absolutely anything can happen at absolutely any moment.
Sure enough, here it comes.
Rich Robot hosts a weekly exercise in mayhem called ``The Lima Bean Hour'' here on WUAG-FM, the student radio station at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. He's just answered a phone call from some goober of a listener who doesn't know...

The article made me sound like a bit of a jerk.



Lima Bean Hour
That was my show. Lots of noise. I was inspired by the radio show that the Negativland guys did out on the west coast - except that they didn’t have to do proper station breaks and public service announcements.
This was apparently my last show, although I think I milked the “this is my last show” thing for a few weeks. 


]]> <![CDATA[What I've Learned After Two Years of Full-Time Travel]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10510 Snowy in the middle of the country
Travel Amateur
I’ve been in my new-ish job at Cubicle World for about two years. It’s been a huge lifestyle and work change as I went from a 9-5 desk job to basically never being in the office anymore. I went from hiding behind a computer screen to standing in front of people.
It’s been crazy.

Here are things I’ve learned.




Packing
As far as packing, my most valuable tools are a snazzy bathroom kit and two “packing system” items (I use the Eagle Creek ones). One is just small-ish (maybe 8x10 inches) rectangle that is perfect for packing t-shirts, underpanties, and socks. This way I don’t have random socks or underwear floating around in my luggage.

The other item is a flat pack for dress shirts. You fold them up nicely and then the pack kind of flattens them a bit. Yes, they can sometimes come out a tad wrinkly, but if you…


Turn the light out
If you need to get wrinkles out of your clothes, a good 5-10 minutes spent in the bathroom with the shower on hot should steam them right out. The trick, in most hotels, is that you need to turn the light off because the light controls the vent and the vent works well enough that your clothes don’t get as steamy as they need to be (learned from the much wiser Mark).
My strategy is to steam my shirts or whatnot for five minutes, turn off the shower and let them stay there for as long as possible (with the light out of course). Overnight works well. I try to do this way in advance of wearing them so they aren’t damp.

Oh, and staying in a Marriott where the coat hangers are tiny and won't fit on the curtain rod? Just un-do a few of the shower curtain clips and use those to hold the hangers. That's what I do.



Suit
Speaking of suits, I love the Ted Baker suits they make that are somewhat wrinkle free and I think stain proof. I think they call them their Endurance suit. Perfect for travel. Comfortable and modern and fairly handsome.
(uber-fashion folks don't like these suits because they are apparently cheaply constructed - I've never had an issue)


Luggage
I've gone through one or two pieces of luggage and finally seem to have consistently carried the Tumi T-Tech Presido. We had some made at work and I was very thoughtfully given one (after I pouted for a while). Mine is black.
It's a tough little bag.




Bathroom Kit
Years ago I got a snazzy hanging little bathroom kit that I would carry with me and the issue always was (and this was back when I only traveled for fun) that I’d invariably forget something. Now, I just keep a duplicate of whatever deodorant, shaving cream, hair mucky gel, and teeths brush in there at all times. This is great. I can just now grab the kit from the closet and go. In the case of a zombie apocalypse I’m good to go.

Oh, and I never pull it out of my bag or put liquids in a Ziploc when going through security - not even the full sized deodorant. I'll get stopped for that about every six months, but I've never had anything taken away.



Why does my room have two televisions?
Rewards & Miles
Everyone will tell you to quickly identify an airline, hotel, and rental car company that you like and try to use them all the time for your travel. So, I’ve done that (Delta, Marriott or Starwood, Hertz) but I also got a Delta Amex card which will replace my Amex “Blue” card (remember how that card was supposed to do… stuff?) and for every purchase I get miles on Delta. The Amex helps to speed up your movement up their tiers. I’m currently “Delta Mauve”.

(I have all these Marriott points, but I get so annoyed with them sometimes. Slowly trying to move to all Starwood hotels (W, Westin, etc))



Travel Agent
Crikey. Especially since I travel for work, I have access to a travel agent. I don’t use them that much, but when you are stuck somewhere because of a cancelled flight, they are invaluable. I often want to hug them. The woman who I work with has been with me through some stressful times.
“I can get you on the next flight if you can get to the other terminal”
“I can’t! I won’t make!”
“You can! I have faith in you! Run Forest! Run!”



Walk
It seems like I do a lot of eating and drinking and riding around in cars when traveling for work – so one goal I have is to always walk.
Walk in airport terminals.
Take the stairs in the hotel.
Never sit down.


Dollars
I always forget to have cash with me, but small bills are awfully handy as I often find myself in situations where tips are needed. Cash is still necessary.


Internets Phone
On the ol’ phone, I live and die by...
- The Delta App: where I can check in and get my boarding pass and see if I can steal an upgrade.
- TripIt: Keeps all the hotel, flight, and car rental all nice and organized. One stop!
- The United App: ugly but works for when I fly them
- Flight Tracker: Will give me updates sooner on flight delays and cancellations than others
- Gate Guru: Kind of a funny Yelp-esque app that list services and restaurants at various airports by terminal
- Twitter: If you fly Delta, they are one of the few brands that actually helps customers via Twitter
- Lodgenet: There is a LodgeNet app for the iPad that allows you to control the television in your room! No more handling the creepy dirty remote. It also has a nice channel guide (for when I want to watch Family Guy (the only thing I ever seem to watch)).


Global Entry
Finally, I signed up for Global Entry which is a fancy little card that allows me to skip a lot of the customs lines when flying back into the USA. I don’t fly international that often, but in theory it also gets me through the Pre-Check lines here. The photo on my Global Entry card is hilarious. I’ll show it to you.

]]> <![CDATA[Ohio + Arizona + Mrs Robot's Birthday = Busy Robot]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10504 Airy Zona
Not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but ever since I took that new position at Cubicle World USA two years ago, I travel quite a bit. The past two weeks have been what you might call “tough” as I’ve been away for almost the entire time.

Piano in middle of bar. Second seen today. Cincinnati: y'all so crazy!First, there was Ohio. I like Ohio, particularly Columbus where I generally have a swell time. That said, Ohio for me is an annual death march as they (Ohioans) tend to want me to visit every city in their fair state so my schedule often looks like this...

7:00am Depart from hotel
9:00am Arrive somewhere
10:00am Do something involving speaking or standing up
12:00pm Have lunch with someone somewhere
3:00pm Do something else involving lots of driving
6:00pm Do something
8:00pm Ridiculous dinner
11:00pm Check-in to hotel

Then repeat for a week

So, I did Ohio. And boy, did I.
Back from Ohio, I had about a day and a half to unpack, find clean laundry, re-pack, pet the wife and hug the cat and depart to Arizona.





No, really. A very pretty morning.
Conference Time
At Cubicle World USA, we hold an annual conference every year (ha). Actually, to clarify, there are lots of conferences, but I tend to “do” only this one. We have about 150 attendees and it’s usually a ridiculous week of listening to brilliant people talk and drinking ridiculously brilliant things and then eating things and waking up at 5am and going to be at 4am and running around the whole time. I’m part of the team that puts the whole show together so I’m comfortable using the term “War Room” and know all sorts of catering terminology (“they need another queen”, I said) and finding my way through the bowels of hotels and kitchens while keeping my shoes shiny and clean.

To be fair, my job is often the easiest in the grand scheme of things.
Yet, I'm exhausted.

(I had a great hotel room, though)



Speaking of shiny shoes
I’m all obsessive and/or compulsive about shoes right now. I need a new pair, and I spend way too much time on Zappos and/or thinking about shoes and looking at what other people wear.



Two Meals
This weekend we had two lovely meals.
Friday @ Fonda Brooklyn.
This was Mrs. Robot’s “Birthday Weekend” and so we met our pals KMAC and RMAC for dinner at Fonda. They do some delightful, a bit upscale Mexican food. Good times.

Duck Confit & 2002
Saturday @ The Modern
We first started with a cocktail at the 21 Club which is one block south. We’d never been. They do make some mean cocktails. Mrs. Robot said it was the best martini she’d had.
Then dinner at the Modern, although we did the bar area and not the main dining room.
Champagne. Soft cooked egg + lobster + mushrooms. Duck confit. Liverwurst. More.
It was all awesome.

Oh, and Sunday we ran into our pals Mike & Pat and had brunch with them. We brunched!
It’s been so long.




]]> <![CDATA[Ironically, I am rejecting your rejection - Volume V]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10490 Rejection
Oh, lovers. You can't stop the lovers. They will find your little page on your website where you collect stories about love and they will write. Oh, will they ever.
This morning I realized that I hadn't checked the "Love Stinks" internet bucket of misery in the past, um, year. Lucky for us, it was chocked full of entries which I will now share with you.


 A wreckage of me
Short Attention Span Summary: 18 years old and life is over
Am an 18 year old with no hope of ever getting over my past.My disappointment comes from being dumped by a gal I thought would be myn for ages.I had jst gotten out of yet another r/ship dat dnt work wen i met her on the social.she was a sister of my high skul pal and as fate wud hav it,we fell in love.


No Title
Short Attention Span Summary: She smiled at him two years later. She's also 12?
I have been loving her since my childhood..a lot even now.In my 15th age(she have 12) i noticed a number of times that she love me.that make me so happy.thats not mere certain situation but solid evidence,i can't write whole things.whatever when she moved to her next school i could feel something happend to her. From my friends i knew that a guy proposed her.after that i stop everything talking seeing everything.Bt i love her in my depth of my heart,truly,uncontrolably.After 2 years after she smiled me.


chance #2
Short Attention Span Summary: She likes word play
i met the perfect guy when i was in love with another man. or so i thought.i was a teenager when i met a young man. a few years my junior. he was precocious but precious. charming and vibrant but quite unnoticeable. he can carry a conversation but most of all he was sincere and real.what started out as pure friendship for me became infatuation for him.


Is it really over?
Short Attention Span Summary: The Three Way was a mistake for them
somehow I didn't want to stop seeing him so I told him that I only needed someone to "take care of my itch" and he agreed. But that was a lie. I just loved to spend time with him. Everything was going great...He even told me a few times that he loved me and he left his ex for me. I decided to give him a threesome just to rock his world and to be compliant and daring and sexy all at once....we did it and it was the worst mistake ever....he thought I liked the dude...he got insecure from it. He never really took me anywhere.


New Orleans
Short Attention Span Summary: Getting drunk = Being Disrespectful
The next day was no different, we went to the zoo, and dinner. After dinner we went to a bar where I procedded to have too much to drink and made a bad joke which he apparently found offensive. As we left the bar he stopped me in the street and told me that he was done, and that any feelings he had for me were gone. We get back to the hotel after laughing the whole way there and he says he's going to get something to eat, and never comes back. I wake up in the middle of the night to find his stuff gone. He leaves me a text message that he left me money for a cab to the airport and if I left anything at his house to give him my address so he can mail it back. He later called and said that me being drunk was disrespectful, and that he doesn't want a relationship with me.


The Worst Mistake I Ever Made
Short Attention Span Summary: Girls smell nice
I met the girl of dreams fell in love with her and ignorantly left her. She was more than everything I wanted. Im not sure if she made me realize things I never knew I liked about woman or I just liked the things about her simpley because i was her. I liked the way she dressed, talked, walked and even smelled. Scientists say you fall in love with a woman over her smell and its you genes that you are attracted to. She really had an unmistakable smell about her that brought me comfort just thinking about it away from her presence.The problem with us was we had a different faith. I wouldnt be the first one in my family who married outside my faith so i know whats its like. I had never loved or been loved and was ignorant to its power. I had assumed we date for a while in community college and then we go about our own paths when we went to universities and graduate schools.I left her because i felt she rally deserved a life better than what i had to offer her. I didnt want her to marry into my family that would have not treated her like family because she was a different race or religion.


]]> <![CDATA[It's a small world in Charlotte]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10496 Oh, Charlotte
Greetings from America’s white-bread: Charlotte. I grew up in NC and always smirked about Charlotte and it’s banking industry and commercial art and desolate downtown. Of course I was younger and things were different. I’m in Charlotte now and the block where my hotel is on seems like a baby Las Vegas with all the bars, restaurants, and big flashing billboards.
It’s still a pretty goofy town, but it’s a lot livier.


Small World - Two Things
One: I’m hanging out with a co-worker down here. Last night we were going to a wine dinner that was at a country club. My co-worker is telling me about the neighborhood we are driving through and I say, “You know, I have two sets of friends who live in Charlotte. I think they might live around here.” As the words leave my mouth, I look out the window and see our friend Pam walking down the street with her daughter.
“Oh, and there’s one of my friends. Stop the car.”
My co-worker thought I was joking. I said ‘hi’ to Pam.

Two: At this wine dinner thing, they had a cheese guy who was serving up fancy cheese. We are chatting about wine and cheese and I’m pouring him glasses of things that he might go well with his cheese. He tells me where he grew up (Kansas) and that he’s lived in Boston and NYC before moving to NC. We talk about Brooklyn (as he had lived in Greenpoint) and I tell him where I live.
“Oh, I wonder if you know my friend Richard...”, he asks.
We realize that he is friends with our friend Richard who lives upstairs in our building.
So, the cheese guy’s wife once dated our pal and upstairs neighbor Richard and they have since all become friends.
I take a photo of us and text it to our pal Richard. He “LOLs”.

BTW
When we first met our pal Richard, he came to one of my wine club event things. I took photos and later Tim (of TIM! fame) wrote to ask, “Why is my old neighbor in Durham in your apartment in NYC?”. Everyone knows Richard. You probably do, too.
(He does the lovely Love Hangover every post-Valentines)

Eggs. Steak.
Soul
If in Charlotte, many people (including me) enjoy Soul Gastrolounge. We dined there last night.
What we sampled...
- Little foie gras + pasty sliders
- Bone marrow
- Steak and eggs on toast
- Brussel sprouts
- Ahi tuna sashimi

Pretty tasty. There you go.



Tonight's birthday wine: still Pinot Muenier from Champagne.
Nerdy Wine Report
For my birthday, we attended a “Super Ball” party where our pal Irene made cochinita pibil and I brought this pretty dorky wine.
Pinot Meunier (that third grape used for Champagne that you don’t see very often by itself)
From the Champagne region.
Still wine.
Red.

Tasty. I’m all about these low tannin and somewhat lighter red wines. So much friendlier than these huge, dark tannin bombs that people seem to adore.


]]> <![CDATA[Happy Birthday Website!]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10495 You always get sick on your birthday
Mrs. Robot said I’m always sick on my birthday. I’m not sure that is true. I need to go back through the archives at the happyrobot and see.
That said, I’m a tad under the weather this week.

Not to go into the details, but last week was a nutso week as far as health and doctors and medicine and my general well-being. We think I had some sort of flu, but it disappeared 24 hours later, so now it’s just the sneezy thing.
But, back to the birthday/sick concept: my birthday is in February and this is the northeast and it’s been cold and miserable and people stay inside and yea, you are often sick.


Squirrel Race War
As I write this, there is a total race war going on outside my window between the grey squirrels and the lone black squirrel. Stupid racist squirrels.



Lobster. Uni. There's some truffles. Dinner at Soto.
Birthday Dinner
This was a quiet birthday weekend. Last night, Mrs. Robot took me out to dinner at Soto, a little sushi restaurant in the West Village. Soto is the restaurant of chef Sotohiro Kosugi and was originally based in Atlanta for about 11 years. I took my brother and his wife there years ago and we had an outstanding dinner. In 2008, he moved up to the Big Stink and has a handsome little place on 6th avenue. No sign out front - it looks like an art gallery.

It’s serious sushi. For real. If your idea of sushi is only rolls, then you might be disappointed (that said, they have rolls as well). The menu is heavy on sea urchin - that’s kind of his thing.
They do an omakase for about $130 per person that takes at least 2.5 hours.
We bravely chose our own dishes (although the omakase would probably have been the same price when it all worked out (ouch)).


This is what I recall.
- Half bottle of Champagne
- Miso soup with uni and soy broth and lobster. Holy moly. What’s that... the unami thing? Yea. It was all up in that junk.
- Eel with this amazing reduced soy sauce
- Tempura sea urchin
- Sea urchin with a quail egg
- Sea urchin with something else

Then the dish that just killed. The photo above. Lobster with roe/caviar on top as well as an uni mousse. Dig down under the lobster and there was more uni, but there some sort of truffle influence happening. Google images has done of versions of this photos. Apparently I’m not alone in being smitten by this dish.

After that, there were 12 courses of sushi (every single damn piece was stupendous) and then a deceptively spectacular tuna roll (it was not your dad’s tuna roll).

Wonderful dinner.
I will add that the vibe there is pretty serious. I felt like I was 18 years old and eating out for the first time with my high school date. Serious. Also, the staff is constantly communicating in this unusual way - gauging the progress of each table.
“Table 4 - 85%!”, the woman would exclaim to the chef.

Also, because we sat out the bar, we were very privy to the chef’s frustration with one table who was taking their sweet time ordering food. The chef may be a bit too free with his opinions of his diners.

Finally, not to make fun of people (wait, no, I totally am), but if you order bottled water in NYC you instantly get a ‘chump’ badge in my book. C’mon. We have the best water.


Oh, yea. Birthday robot.




Happy Birthday Website!
Many years ago I built this with my own two hands. It’s still here.
The happyrobot e-book will come out this year and we’ll have a book signing party and I will sign your ipad.


xoxo



]]> <![CDATA[The Time I Went to Minneapolis in January]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10494 Minny Soda
I spent a few days in Minneapolis recently for work. I had flown through there before, but had never properly set foot in the town.  I flew into the airport (as you tend to do) and was happy to see that everything is designed to keep you warm – including the nice little area where you wait for a cab. All cozy and friendly. One note about the hotel: I stayed in the Hotel Minneapolis which was an old bank that was converted to a hotel. It's owned by Marriott (via their 'Autograph' collection) and is nice because you get boutique-esque hotels *and* Marriott points. See, I'm a dork who chases points and miles now.


Speaking of Airports
The airline for this trip was Sun Country Airlines. Since I'm part of the generation who spent a bit too much time drinking crap-ass wine coolers, this was a fun (for the youngsters, there used to be a brand of wine coolers called "Sun Country Coolers" – I'm hungover just thinking about that now). Sun Country is based in Minneapolis and flies primarily to warmer climates (there's a joke there somewhere) and is staffed by nice folks who you would imagine would work for an airline based in Minneapolis.


For the lunch service in the main cabin, you had the choice of a personal pan pizza or a hamburger.
Also, my one-way ticket cost me $100.
Also, I upgraded to First Class for $80.
Also, there were empty seats in First Class as I suppose other people thought $80 was too much for an upgrade?

In fancy first class, we were served the following…
- Drinks a plenty. But oddly everyone was ordering orange juice at first. No mixed drinks (on other airlines, I've sat next to people ordering Jack & Cokes at 9am).
- A cheese plate and saltines
- A ham and cheese sandwich along with a small 'salad' of tomatoes and mozzarella
- One chocolate chip cookie the size of my face
So, maybe there is an issue with moderation and portion control, but it was fine lunch. I had a glass of red wine to combat all the cheese and cholestorel.


Art
The first day I had nothing planned and went out to the Walker Arts Center and looked at some art which infuriated me to no end as art normally does. But, that is a rant for another day. The rant will be called, "Former Art Major Hates Art".

They did have a huge (literally) Cindy Sherman retrospective that was interesting and/or horrifying (clowns!) and/or frustrating. Were there focus issues with some of the photographs? Was that intentional?
Here's a fun topic to discuss in the future: why do objects in the gift shop seem more relevant and artistic and meaningful than the art in the museum?

Clowns
For real: Who likes clowns?
No one likes clowns!
No more clowns! They so scary!

Cindy Sherman's clown exhibit covered on a clown blog: Starting somewhere in 2002, she started photographing the subject of this blog: clowns. ‘I came to clowns,’ she says, ‘to show the complex emotional abysses of a painted smile.’




Then there was walking
I spent the next couple of hours walking. Looking at a map, the museum was only 1.2 miles from my hotel. That's nothing. I probably walk that every day to & from work. It was a sunny day so I walked back. The only issue of course is that it's (a) January and (b) Minneapolis and soon the wind picked up and I regretted this decision. Luckily I ran into an entrance for the Skyway.


Skyway
"The system forms a network of climate-controlled, pedestrian walkways that link sixty-nine full city blocks over eleven miles"
For the fans of the Replacements out there (that would just be Kristen, I think) you'll note that the Replacements, who were from Minneapolis, wrote a song about the Skyway.

But you take the skyway
It don't move at all like a subway
It's got bums when it's cold like any other place
It's warm up inside
Sittin' down and waitin' for a ride
Beneath the skyway


The Skyway is a great idea. Eric(W) described it best as 'hamster tubes' running between each building and this is kind of what it is. The second floors of each building will have little bridges running across to their neighboring building allowing you to walk almost anywhere downtown without going outside.

Here are the issues:
- Each building kind of controls their own part of the Skyway, so there are not uniform opening or closing times
- Since each building is different, there isn't a set route through each building
- Not every building has connections on every side
- Signage seems to be lacking

After the art museum, I decided to go out for dinner and found a restaurant I wanted to go to. I looked at my SkyWay map and thought, "eh, this should be easy - I'm somewhat smart".

Now, when I had walked back from the museum and did the SkyWay, it went really well. Very easy, but it was also a straight shot. When I went out for dinner, it wasn't a straight shot.


I walked and walked. Hit a dead-end and turned around. Walked and walked. Tried using the GPS on the phone which kind of worked. The point I realized that I was lost was when I strolled into this one lobby/mall for the third time. Apparently I had gotten stuck in some sort of loop.
I was hungry and tired of walking and lost and if I had run into this same lobby a fourth time I suspect I would have broken down in tears.
Mrs. Robot asked, "Why didn't you just ask someone? They are all super friendly there."
Yea, I don't know why I didn't ask.

As I sat there staring at the crappy map the hotel gave me and my phone, I whispered a prayer to the almighty that went something like this:

All mighty robot, if you will guide me back to my hotel room tonight, I promise to eat dinner at the hotel and not leave the premises until tomorrow

I made it back to my hotel. I had a suspiciously good piece of salmon for dinner and retired to my room.


MAPS
The crappy map is not the same one that is above. That is the one I found on the intertubes and then threw out the crappy hotel one.


True Fact
I wrote this while I had the flu.
Wash your hands after reading.

]]> <![CDATA[Surefire topics for a successful happyrobot post]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=6978 Lost Post from 2005
I was going through the old robot archives and found a post that I had penned (internetally) but never posted.
Wonder why? Was it too controversial? Too saucy? Too snarky?
(actually, it may be too snarky)

But, what the hell. You aren't reading this, so here goes! From November 5, 2005.



Surefire topics for a successful happyrobot post
1. Jamba Juice

2. Republicans should not publish their views

3. I am having sex with someone on happyrobot

4. I am now not having sex with someone on happyrobot

5. I am a tall man who wants to have sex with your mother

6. I like to keep it real

7. The homeless rock!

8. I love everyone

9. Here's a photo of my new dog/cat/baby/gadget

10. I am getting a divorce

11. Hockey – too much or lack of

12. If I won the lottery, this is what I'd buy you

13. Pony once wore a grade-school uniform

14. You won't believe all I drank this past night/weekend/month/era

15. You won't believe what I had for dinner

16. Let me describe to you in detail the sex I was having with someone here on happyrobot

17. Why is no one having sex with me – on or off happyrobot?

18. Here's a photo of my breasts/bottoms/wieners/bits

19. Self-referential posts listing types of posts

20. John Lawton had a birthday and the following fighting/spitting/f*cking happened

]]> <![CDATA[I am the most uninteresting man in the world]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10489 Undisclosed Location
From time to time, even a high-payed internet executive like myself makes a mistake. Last night it was finally going to a restaurant near our apartment (AKA “The happyrobot world townhouse, LLC.”) that we’ve been meaning to try for a year or so and realizing that (like a character in Arrested Development (the show, not the band)) that we’ve made a terrible mistake. The mistake being that we were shocked how great the experience was and equally shocked how stupid we had been for taking so long to try it. So many wasted nights eating at other places.
Drat.

It was a great meal. Arugula salad. Clams, garlic, and crusty bread. Homemade pasta with sausage. Roast chicken. Lambrusco to drink. Chocolate pudding for dessert.
(pudding? yes. it was tremendous.)

It was so great that I didn’t take any photos and so far haven’t even mentioned what restaurant it was in fear of fellow internet executives finding it and douching it up.


During Dinner
I think it was Mrs. Robot who made a joke about me (?) being the “most uninteresting man in the world”. It was a joke based on something I said. I think. There were cocktails.
We spent the time between the courses at dinner coming up with items that the World’s Most Uninteresting Man would Tweet.
Here they are.

]]> <![CDATA[2012 Good Riddance]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10488 2012 Good Riddance
I haven’t written anything, even after taking two weeks off during the holidays, because I was fearful that it would come off as grumpy and cranky and someone would read it and tell my mom that I hated Christmas or something.

2012 was a rough year, especially for the ever pretty Mrs. Robot who lost BOTH her parents this year. I don’t even know anyone could process all of this.

So. That said, there was a bit of a grey cloud hovering over the Christmas Shopping Season Tree this year.


Rock'em
Fambly
Not to discourage the random family member that might read this. We had a fine holiday season. There were frustrations of course, but you are hanging with family so that is kind of expected. I totally enjoyed spending time with my little niece and nephew who are bundles of fun. My niece is turning out to be a kick-ass young lady – I have no concern about her not becoming a smart and clever and ass-kicking adult. I also have no concern that my nephew will be a fine ninja.


Dinner in Charlotte Ya’ll
Both our families reside in North Carolina. We flew down on the afternoon of that Saturday before Crispness and because we are total dorks we stayed in Charlotte that night at a hotel. Why? Because we needed to stay at a Hilton one more night in 2012 to push Mrs. Robot up to the next Rewards level. She’s now Titanium or something which means we can now stay in Mr. Hilton’s home if we like.
Because of the ‘grey holiday cloud’ I decided that we should also go out for a nice meal (since it would be our last nice meal as we’d be spending time with our families (HA! I KID!! (Ha, no I don’t))) and I made reservations at The Good Fig or The Fig Table or Figs and Funs which is a restaurant that is highly rated in the cultural capital of the south: Charlotte. I can’t recall the exact name and for whatever reason the internettubes here aren’t working on this here computer.
Ah, there it goes: The Fig Tree.

A few points about our lovely meal that night…
- Small dining room area so we could easily hear the somewhat loud lady at the table next to ours. She ordered veal, but when the dish arrived there was some confusion where she thought she had ordered pork. I don’t know. But, all I know is we heard her say, “you know, pig meat”. Pig meat?
- This same woman said, “ya’ll” probably at least twice a sentence. Ya’ll.
- Waitress was good with the up-sell. Ordered foie gras and she talked me into a glass of Sauternes.
- We had a car service guy drop us off and pick us up (so that I could get my drink on and not have to worry about driving). He was charming and was watching these Indian movies on his laptop. We discussed Indian cinema with him (we have no idea what we are talking about) and he ended up texting us a list of movies we needed to see.



Damn JFK Bag Handlers
Oh, and I had two bottles of Champagne removed/stolen form my luggage on our flight down.


The Good Book
If you are on the Facebook and follow the happyrobots there, you may have seen discussion of a happyrobot e-book that I’m working on for the iPad/Kindle/Nook/ReadingMachine.
Good golly. It is taking so long to go through all the words we have on this website. I’ve finished 2001-2003. Massive amounts of time to this. This could be a full time job just editing these posts and organzing and all that.


Toolbox
If any nerds out there wonder how I’m doing it, this is how. I do these for work and have become pretty good with it all.

I wanted to use the iBook application you can use on the Mac, but it has two issues in my mind:
1. The style/class/formatting seems a bit too loosey-goosey for me. I don’t trust the super friendly interface.
2. As far as I know, books made with it only work on the iBook app and not other formats.

The software I use is Jutoh. It has tons of features and is fairly powerful. Just not much to look at.

I’m pulling the words straight from the robot database and basically set up a little page that pulls every post for a single year and then formats it using the standard HTML tags for each section. For instance…
<H1>Title</H1>
<H2>Date</H2>
<P>The words….</P>

This way, in Jutoh I have an easy way to edit the font styles and formatting for each part globally.

But, before I can even think about the fonts, I spend a huge chunk of time with an HTML editor (I use Smultron) going through the posts and checking for spelling and formatting and also making editorial decisions on what goes in and what doesn’t.


We were so young
Oh, it’s been fun reading everyone’s thoughts from 2001-2003.
Hopefully this will be entertaining.






]]> <![CDATA[Best Things Eaten (by me) 2012]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10485 February
Baked Oysters in New Orleans
Oysters. Gumbo. Clicquot.


Beignets at Cafe Du Monde
Powdered sugar. Black shirt. Great idea.


Delicious little sandwiches while visiting Glenmorangie House (I had the place to myself)
Hello lunch!


Arrived in Paris. Taken immediately to amazing lunch. The duck.
Hello duck


The Rum Cake made by my lovely wife for my birthday
For my birthday: Rum Cake


A tremendous meal at Hennessy while visiting Cognac
Tremendous Dinner


March
Salmon. Bacon. Eggs. At Café Patachou in the Indianapolis Airport.
Salmon. Bacon. Eggs. Bless you Indy airport.


Dinner at America Eats in Washington DC.
Easily the best meal/weekend of 2012. Brilliant and amazing dinner.
Shrimp & Grits at America Eats


April
Taro Sushi, even in a new and bigger location, is still making some amazing sushi.
Horse mackerel with the little ginger and onion stuff.


May
Once again, breakfast at Cafe Patachou in Indianapolis is just terrific.
I heart Cafe Patachou


Lunch at Le Bernardin. What a treat.
Moet Lunch at Le Bernardin - First Course


June
Lunch at Hotel L'Yeuse in Cognac.
I still think about this dish. So warm and savory. Eggs. Balsamic. Asparagus.
The eggs were to die for.
Eggs. Baby Asparagus.


Fruit of the sea!
The first course at Chateau Bagnolet in Cognac.
Dinner at Chateau Bagnolet: Fruits of the Sea


The Foie Gras Burger at Le Foch in Reims, France
Le Foch: Foie Gras Burger


July
Krug Champagne. Pork.
By the river on the Fourth of July. That was a long night.
Happy 4th of July. Pork. Krug.


Definitely healthy. The tempeh and kale from our CSA. We ate a lot of this.
Kale! Tempeh! Crazy carrots!


August
The Paul Qui dinner at City Grit. Very hot (literally). Amazing meal.
Quail. Oh my.


Vegtables from our CSA
Tomatoes and basil from CSA. Bread from Caputos.


September
Visiting ATL for work and we had a lovely lunch consisting of this dish: Bone marrow + Fried quail egg + Tuna tartare. It somehow all worked.
Bone marrow. Tuna tartare. Fried quail egg. Cape Mentelle.


Visiting Vegas (bleh) and having dinner at é by José Andrés. Good meal. Stupid town.
Truffle Cotton Candy with Gold


October
I don’t eat a lot of sushi rolls, but there is one at Ki Sushi that has king crab on it (my fave) as well as roe and gold leaf. That is pretty tasty.
Long week = gold leaf on top of the roe on top of king crab


November
Insert photo of Thanksgiving in Los Angeles.
I somehow didn’t take any photos of the actual, amazing-as-usual Thanksgiving dinner because the battery in my camera died and I had a bit of a cold.
But, take my word: It looked great.



December?]]> <![CDATA[Mystery Date Manhattan]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10480 Secret Lovers
Mrs. Robot and I like to do the mystery date/vacation thing. It’s all sorts of fun.
There have been mystery dinners and mystery hotel stays in NYC and mystery trips to Portland (east coast style (Maine)) and Las Vegas (yuck town USA). This past Friday was Mystery Date night!

All I knew was that I had to meet her at Columbus Circle at 7pm.


Discovering Columbus
Discovering Columbus
This public art installation has been up for a few months (ha - I wrote “up”).
“If you’ve ever wanted to see what the city’s pre-eminent statue of Christopher Columbus looks like standing on a large coffee table in an upscale New York living room with killer views, now is your chance. Under the auspices of the Public Art Fund, the Japanese artist Tatzu Nishi has built a convincingly appointed penthouse-worthy space around the 13-foot-high marble sculpture of Columbus that has presided over Columbus Circle from a height of 60 feet since it was completed by Gaetano Russo in 1892.”
- NY Times Review
- Public Art Fund website

Columbus Circle Statue. Living room.
The Christopher (Kriss Kross make you jump) Columbus statue in Columbus Circle is wrapped in scaffolding. You get your free tickets online and hike up the stairs to the living room at the top where you see the Columbus statue displayed on a coffee table in a (swanky) living room. It is a bit surreal to have this large statue in this nice living room setting. The night we were there (a Friday) it was a bit crowdy and everyone had camera phones out snapping photos (me too) - which kind of makes things less surreal.

Two points...
I apparently don’t like heights. The scaffolding to get up to the living room is very nicely put together and very safe, but I stupidly somehow tripped on the first set of stairs and for dumb stupid reasons I was all buggy the rest of the way up.

The views were awesome. Views straight up the avenues and across 59th street. Central Park. Good stuff.



Mystery Dinner
Afterwards, we had to eat dinner and the lovely Mrs. Robot booked us a table at Boulud Sud. One of my favorite places in Manhattan is Bar Boulud, which is Daniel Boulud’s take on the classic French bistro right around the corner (in fact, they actually connect). Boulud Sud is his take on Mediterranean.
It’s very grown up. Apart from the older gentleman with the very young girl (daughter? granddaughter? mistress?) I think we were the youngest people in the restaurant. I know this for a fact because I saw NO ONE TAKING PHOTOS OF THEIR FOOD. It was strange. They were all eating and talking.
But, really. Skews older. The dining room, while very handsome, has a 1980’s/90’s media/socialite power-lunch vibe to it.
The food is lovely. Here’s what I’d recommend:
This dish with uni and crab
The grilled octopus dish
Mrs. Robot loved the chicken liver. I did not.
Kale salad (of course)

My only complaint is the menu that is divided into categories: fish, vegetables, and meat. Within each category are starters and plates to share and entree-sized dishes. You basically have three menus. It may have been the sudafed in my blood stream (yay meth!) but I had a hard time working through the menu.
#firstworldproblem

Also, I took no photos.



]]> <![CDATA[TurkeyDay 2012: Champagne & Sudafed]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10478 The ol’ Thanksgiving Wrap-up
Now, as the dozens of readers of this fine “blog” know, every year for American Thanksgiving, we pack up the car (put clothes and wine in luggage) and drive (fly early on Thanksgiving morning) to grandma’s house (our friend Kristy & Matt’s place in Los Angeles). We’ve been doing this for a while now.
According to the internet search-engine I use (Hot-Bot) we started this tradition four scores ago (if four scores equals six years) in the heady days of 2006 – pre-iPhone if you can believe it. How we found our way to their house I’ll never know.

Giving Thanks
Achoo
Well. I don’t have a lot of photos to show because of two things:
1. I brought my fancy little camera, but I forgot to charge it
2. I had a bit of a cold and just wasn’t in to do anything other than eating and then sleeping
Awwww. Baby had a cold. I did.

But, like in past years, it was a dinner that couldn’t be beat. Big ass turkey. Big ass pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. Stuffing. Stuffing. Stuffing. Sweet potatoes au gratin. Wine. Champagne.
It was a grand time.


Good morning LA
House Rental
Our pals Kristy & Matt made the unusual step of producing off-spring (it must be a California thing) and with other family visiting, the house was pretty tight so we rented a little house up the street. It was like 5 houses away – 58 seconds of walking according to Google.

Goodnight LA
What a fine little house. Two bedrooms and one bath. Huge living room. The front of the house had a view of downtown LA and the back had a view of the Hollywood sign. Additionally, there was a converted garage in the back with a big bed (where our pal Mark slept) that was the ‘artists studio’ – hence we referred to Mark as “the artist” the whole time.
The Artist
“Is the artist awake yet?”

I also had a cold. Achoo.

Let’s see, what else? We saw the James Bond Skyfall movie (I liked it) and had some nice Peking Duck (I also liked it). We ate at Café Tropical as usual.
On “Black Friday” we of course celebrated “Bloody Friday” which consists of Bloody Marys and James Bond flicks. We watched Thunderball (whenever they said “Thunderball”, you drink) and the horrid View to a Kill (drink whenever they say “Zorrin” or Roger Moore creepily kisses a woman). I stayed with rum.
Oh, but we loved out little house.



]]> <![CDATA[Where you been at?]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10472 What’s going on?
Where have I been?


Funeral
Wait. Didn’t we just have a funeral a few months ago for a parent? Yes. Yes, we did.
Mrs. Robot’s dear ol’ dad passed away six months after her mother passed away. Yes.
So, there’s that.


Hurricane
Mrs. Robot was down south taking care of her dad and missed the hurricane. This left Robot.Cat and I to ride out the super-storm in Brooklyn. We were very lucky.
Our building is on a hill, so no chance of flooding.
There was a lot of wind, but not that much rain so no leaking problems.
We had electricty the whole time but did lose internet for about 5 hours.

Neighbors and friends in Red Hook and near the Gowanus Canal (I refuse to call the neighborhood “Gowanus”) weren’t as lucky, of course.


Tuesday
The hurricane was winding down and Mrs. Robot called to say that her dad had just passed away. That’s a strange situation to find yourself in: there was no way to really get out of town. At that moment, the bridges were still closed. Tunnels were closed. Nothing was open.
I don’t own a car.
Luckily, the next morning the car rental place near us was open and had cars to rent so I spent that day on a little road trip zooming down to hug Mrs. Robot.


Post Hurricane Traffic
In NYC, if you had the idea to drive into Manhattan, it was all crazy town. On the other hand, if you were driving away from Manhattan, the road was also empty. I drove down the BQE to the Verrazano bridge with no traffic while the other direction was basically stopped from the Brooklyn Bridge to the Verrazano. Crazy traffic.
It was the same on I95 the whole way. Traffic going north and no one was going south.

Also, Panera Bread. You’d think they could make a fancy sandwich, but you’d be wrong.


Election
I was traveling on election day and had planned on doing the early voting beforehand and even had it marked on my calendar - the problem of course is that the day I planned to vote was the same day the stupid super-storm rolled in. I was in Texas (Houston and Dallas) and flew back on Election Day. Amazingly I arrived back in NYC around 7:30pm and was able to get a cab to the my polling station.


Street Name
At the polling station, they ask for your address to direct you to the right table to get the paperwork or whatnot. The first question is, “What is your street name?”
The girl in front of me, who seemed kind of tough and probably had an actual ‘street name’ was very flummoxed by this question.
“My street name? Why do you need that?”
Oh, it was hilarious.



Feeling Sorry for the GOP
A tiny part of me feels sorry for the GOP. This was not the candidate they wanted to run. They didn’t like Romney. Romney got a ton of hatred and smear campaigns by the other nominees and big finance supporters.
The Christian Right didn’t want to nominate a Mormon. Billy Graham probably didn’t want to endorse a Mormon as his website had earlier warned that Mormonism was a cult.

I’m not defending the Republican party, but it just seemed like all the wingnuts somehow rose to the surface this year.



Louis CK
Mrs. Robot, after dealing with a lot of post-funeral stuff (as well as doing some volunteer work for Obama while down south) flew up to the bustling metropolis of Hartford, “CT” where we met up and saw the humorous entertainer Louis CK.
It was a grand time.

Louis CK
]]> <![CDATA[El Hurricanos and Me]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10470 Hurricano!
Since I grew up in the southeast, I’m not unfamiliar with hurricanes (or as we called them “El Hurricano el Grande”).


Carolina Beach post Hurricane
The one where I drove to NYC and back
I forget which one this was. Fran?
For whatever dumb 20-something reason, I drove up to NYC to visit Eric(W). To clarify, visiting Eric(W) is not a dumb thing, but I’m also not sure I had the money to be traveling and also I was stupid.
While up in NYC, I see on the news that a hurricane is about to wallop the town of Wilmington (NC) where I tragically I was keeping all my stuff and cat. So, I jumped back into the car and drove south to try and get home to close my windows.

When I crossed the border between VA and NC, the hurricane was just waiting for me. I called my grandmother, who lived somewhat close by, and asked if I could stop by.
The next day:
- My car got bumped in a parking lot and messed up a headlight
- I drove down I-40 to Wilmington and what normally was a 3 hour drive was now a 6 hour drive as the interstate and side roads kept being flooded.
- The church steeple across the street from our apartment fell and smashed on the street. Somehow it fell away from our building, the historic fountain, the historic mansion, and didn’t squash anyone.


The one where we napped
According to the Wikipedia, this must have been Emily. Or Bertha? Crap. I wish we had Facebook back then.
Two things:
(1) Everyone’s pal Jungle “Jim” and I went over to our pal Matt’s apartment to get beer during the hurricane. On the way back, the storm picked up and I remember the amazing train/locomotive sound of the wind coming up the street as we ran home. At that point, I said, “never again will I go out in a hurricane”.

(2) The power went out. We had beer and food and working gas stoves so we gorged and then slept through the afternoon as the hurricane rattled the windows.


The one that just happened
Sandy. So, our rickety old building has (so far) survived and been solid. There was more wind than rain, which is fine as the building likes to leak from time to time.
A friend of mine just texted me to say that his parent’s house in Long Island was literally destroyed by a tree. Sad. Mere blocks from us, people had crazy flooding as well.
We’ll be out of the office for a while I think.



There were others

]]> <![CDATA[For Halloween, I'm going as...]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10469 Sexy Grover Norquist

Sexy Delta Gold Flyer

Sexy Ham Sandwich

Sexy Facebook Update

Sexy My Cat Ruby

Sexy Soy Milk

Sexy Building Superintendent Getting Ready for Hurricane

Sexy Empty Bread Aisle

Sexy Marriott Points

Sexy Joe Biden

Sexy Hong Kong Made Suit

Sexy Retired Nurse

Sexy Kindle

Sexy Dog Eating Cabbage

Sexy Jesus Painting Messed up in Italy

Sexy Nervous Weatherman Standing Outside

Sexy Serge Making Cocktails

Sexy Racist Political Pundit

Sexy Eric(W) Dressed as a Robot

Sexy Human Resources

Sexy Waiter Excusing Their Reach

Sexy Coffee Maker

Sexy Cat Box

Sexy Photos of Halloween Party

Sexy John Lawton

Sexy NPR Sunday Puzzle

Sexy B&H Sales Staff

Sexy F Train

Sexy Sleazy Wine Buyer

Sexy Freaky Mookie

Sexy Facebook Poke

Sexy Concerned Friend

Sexy Pizza Slice

Sexy Airwolf

Sexy Park Slope Stoller Pusher

Sexy Three Jack&Coke Drinking First Class Passenger

Sexy Swing State

Sexy Disapproving Parent

Sexy People You May Know

Sexy Sandy

Sexy Neighborhood Black Squirrel

Sexy Chewbacca

Sexy Cory Booker

Sexy "Parents just called gotta take a break"

Sexy Speakerphone Conversation with Mom & Dad
]]> <![CDATA[Mystery Weekend of Love for Lovers 2012 - Las Vegas]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10461 Mystery Weekend of Love for Lovers 2012
Do you remember last year when Mrs. Robot took me on a mystery vacation and we (and by “we” I mean all of us) went up to Portland (the Maine one) and ate lobster and drove Volvos and slept in big beds and floated in big bath tubs? That was fun.
This year, I planned a mystery weekend to coincide with our different-sex marriage anniversary.


é menu
Sneaky
It is tough to be sneaky. Mrs. Robot was quite surprised as all she knew was that she had to pack a bag and be at the airport at a certain time.
The main gist of the weekend would be a meal at é by José Andrés - which happens to be in Las Vegas. It’s tough to get a table here as there are only two seatings and only eight seats.
EIGHT. That’s crazy. I somehow scored two seats for us as well as a very nice room at the Mandarin Oriental (this is one of the few non-casino having hotels in Las Vegas).


What happens in Vegas
We didn’t do much in the town of Las Vegas as neither of us are particularly into gambling or going to outdoor DJ pool parties or dressing like skanks. We were also Vegas virgins so this was our first trip there. I’d also bet that it’s probably our last. Our hotel was nice and the pool area was “chill”, but otherwise it’s all kind of like the largest mall and cruise ship and most annoying tourist trap area all rolled into one. Also kind of shady.


Dinner
José Andrés has like 500 restaurants in the Cosmopolitan hotel. They all look nice and the hotel is chock full of people (primarily drunken youngsters) and is kind of a constant party that happens to be near a hotel. Luckily, “é” is located in a private room so things are fairly quiet and peaceful.

Like I said, they serve eight people at this restaurant with only two seatings per night.
Let me first complain about a few things that didn’t make the dinner perfect and then I’ll “blog” about the stuff I did like.


BOO
- For a restaurant with super playful food and decor, the staff was hyper-serious. Sometimes bordering on comical.
- I would have liked a tad more love or passion. The food was often very inspired but the chef was a bit short with the descriptions (in order for us to ask more questions). Even when we asked questions, I thought those answers were short. If the chef answers your question with the name of an obscure spanish ingredient and that’s it... Well.
- This is not something a restaurant can really control, but this was the first shared dinner table / chef’s table situation where almost no one spoke to each other. At the City Grit dinner last month, we all traded cards and email addresses. At Brooklyn Fare years ago, people went out drinking afterwards with their new friends. At this one, we basically left as we came in.
- This was also probably more me, but this was the first time I’d eaten a “fancy” meal where I didn’t finish all the food and didn’t finish all the drinks. They do a drink pairing - if I did the meal again, I’d just blow the money and get a bottle of champagne as I didn’t think all of the pairings worked, at least in my mouth.


Truffle cotton candy with gold leaf
YAY
With twenty-five courses, there was a lot of fun. They started us out with snacks and then onto bigger plates and then desserts. I’ve got the menu in front of me and am having a hard time remembering which dish was which - this is why “pro bloggers” either photograph every single dish (like the guy next to me) or take notes. The folks at Epicuryan had a very similar dinner if you want to see their photos and notes.

The best dishes were the one that had that unexpected surprise. The olive oil ball or the chickpeas that were pureed and then reconstituted as a delicate ball of chickpea goodness that fell apart in your mouth (“Chickpea Stew with Ibérico Ham”). The truffle cotton candy with gold leaf - this one hurts your head because you keep thinking “cotton candy” but your mouth says “truffles”.
The “Almejas al Natural” was wonderful. It was clams that had been injected with all their briney goodness. They were all bloated and basically kind of burst in your mouth. It was great although I’m not doing the dish any justice with my caveman description.

The “Crispy Chicken Skin in Escabeche” was crispy chicken skin and, I believe, chicken balls. Very tasty considering. Chicken balls.

There was the “Bocata de Bacalao”. This was a small sandwich with the meat from the cheek of a fish (cod?) and was delicious but kind of ruined by bread that seemed super dry.

“Cava Sangira” was a ball of cava and sangria that burst in your mouth.

“Lobster with Citrus & Jasmine” had jasmin air/foam and tiny citrus bits. So pretty.

“Turbot with Bone Marrow” was lovely fish along with bone marrow.

“Secreto of Ibérico Pork with Squid” was one of my least favorites. It was squid and pork. The squid was wonderful and I chomped that up, but the pork was maybe undercooked? Whatever the reason, it seemed to take hours to chew each bite. Tough.

“Whole Lobe of Foie Gras Baked in Salt” was good but seriously could have used just a tad more foie gras.


The dessert courses were fun. The flan was amazing and had this wonderful tiny star-shaped flowers on the top. Then there was a dish that was basically chocolate, cream, and olive oil. Oh my.





Here’s the entire menu for our meal

*SNACKS*
REBUJITO
IDIAZABAL “MACARON"
CARAMELIZED PORK RINDS
APPLE "BRAZO DE GITANO”
NITRO ALMOND CUP
SETA SURPRISE
BARCQUILLO
TRUFFLE COTTON CANDY
ALMEJAS AL NATURAL
BOCATA DE BACALAO
CRISPY CHICKEN SKIN IN ESCABECHE
CAVA SANGRIA

*LARGER COURSES*
ARTICHOKE “PUREE” WITH VANILLA
LOBSTER WITH CITRUS & JASMINE
CHICKPEA STEW WITH IBERICO HAM
TURBOT WITH BONE MARROW
WHOLE LOBE OF FOIE GRAS BAKED IN SALT
SECRETO OF IBERICO PORK WITH SQUID

*DESSERT*
ORANGE PITH PUREE LA SERENA
FLAN
PAN CON CHOCOLATE
“ARROZ CON LECHE"
COCOA PAPER WITH DRIED STRAWBERRY
25 SECOND BIZCOCHO
“AIR” CHOCOLATES
]]> <![CDATA[Smoking Indoors? For real?]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10460 Wait. What are you doing?
I haven’t paid attention to what states have banned smoking in restaurants and bars and other places, but it’s always a bit jarring when I find myself in a place where it’s still legal to smoke indoors. For instance, one of those places is the town of Biloxi, Mississippi. I’ve been here 48 hours and it seems like a nice little town. I haven’t seen much to be honest.

Last night I went out with some people for dinner and then to this wacky invite-only bartenders-only DJ music drinking vodka thing (known as a “IOBODJMDVT” in the industry). Before dinner, people are smoking in the bar. Literally, I had to stop myself from saying, “Wait! You can’t smoke indoors! You’ll get in trouble!” over and over. Then we get to the bar for the party and everyone is smoking. It was also quite warm in there and a constant blasting from a fog machine so I tried to step outside often for fresh air.
How they roll in Mississippi.
Of course the issue is that I’m traveling across the country for like ten days straight for work. I spend a great amount of time and brain-power planning on how I can pack everything and get the most out of the least packed. But, holy crap, if suddenly a jacket or pair of pants stinks because of frigging cigarette smokes, that’s a bit of an issue.
There are solutions. Nicer hotels do offer dry cleaning. I could buy fabreeze or something. Steaming everything in the shower helps a bit.

I didn’t plan on cigarette smoke.

Pre-Smoking Ban
What a pain in the ass that was - at least clothes-wise. If you went out to a bar on a somewhat regular basis, did that mean that our clothes always stunk? I can’t remember. Did I just have to do laundry more often? Did my apartment smell?


Which states ban smoking?
List of states with smoking bans.
Internet to the rescue! This internet is full of information.



Katrina
Lastly, I’ll admit that I had no knowledge about the town of Biloxi before I got here. I’m not sure I could have told you what state it was in. The first morning I was here we were driving around and I’m blissfully unaware of all these empty lots that are on the main road next to the water. Just empty and overgrown lots. Yesterday afternoon, when I wasn’t harassing a large water beetle (I say “water cockroach” but I keep getting corrected) that was swimming underwater in the pool, I found myself on the computer looking at photos and videos from the Katrina disaster. The before and after photos of some of the buildings, houses, and neighborhoods were just so incredible.

I then came across that one video that I remember from the whole Katrina disaster. It was a guy who had camped in a parking garage and was just filming the storm rolling in. I had watched this a number of times before and only yesterday did I realize that this was shot in Biloxi and that the building next to it was the hotel I’m currently sitting in (although I think it was gutted and/or tore down and replaced). The place where I had lunch was under 10 feet of water as was the stupid intersection nearby (I say stupid because it seems like people can’t judge the curve and I keep hearing squealing wheels).

Crazy.


]]> <![CDATA[North Fork Century - Let's go!]]> http://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10456 It was flat in areas

Let's do it!
On April 13th, I sent an email to Mrs. Robot and asked her if she thought she’d like to attempt her first century (AKA 100 mile bike ride) and suggested the North Fork Century as it’s quite flat and relatively easy (or as easy as riding 100 miles can be (and/or my sister)).
She replied, “Let’s do it!”

In my head I thought, “awwwww yea” and then realized she was talking about the bike ride.



Forks
For those of you not familiar with the NY Metro area, the North Fork is the northern ‘fork’ of Long Island. The other ‘fork’ would be south of that and contains the Hamptons and all that mess. There are a lot of farms on the North Fork – our CSA vegetables actually come from a farm on the North Fork.


First Time Century
Before this, the longest ride she had ever done was about 60 miles. Also, her bike is a fun little single speed-job. I had ridden her bike before and realized that while it was nice little bike, I didn’t think she’d enjoy it for 100 miles - luckily, that is where our pal KMAC came to the rescue and loaned her bike to the cause. She rides a nice Specialized Roubaix.

Mrs. Robot also bought padded shorts and gloves and all that for the ride.

So, let’s review:

1. She’s riding a bike that she has basically never ridden before
2. This is her first time riding a traditional road bike
3. She’s wearing padded shorts for the first time
4. She’s riding 100 miles for the first time.

Crikey.


Success
As you may have read on Orkut, we were successful. She said she suffered a bit on the last ten miles, but otherwise it was pretty uneventful. Most of the roads were flat although traffic was annoying from time to time. There was a one big hill and she handled it well.
From time to time, I’d play “Final Countdown” on my phone to motivate her. Not sure if that helped.


North Fork
It’s a nice ride. The roads ranged from quiet suburbs or farmland to annoying Long Island tourist busy – but there was always a good sized shoulder to ride on. Decent rest stops with the usual pb&j, Fig Newtons, Gatorade, and bananas.

Do it.

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