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Art Colony: what is sexy?
Friday, January 13, 2006
› by victoria
in response to the post about the "HoTTTTest things", I totally agree that those lists are really silly. I don't remember where I read it, but one writer was saying that the tips in COSMO are terrifying, something about rubbing a pebble under... yeah, weird stuff with pebbles. ANYWAYS, Stu demanded to know since I was dissing those COSMO-tips, what my sexy relationship-improving tips are. Whic is odd since I don't think of myself as a sexy-advice-dispensing-type person at all. I'm much more of a humorous-person. The only time I really read "sexy tips" from Cosmo is when Robin and I get together for our yearly review of the COSMOPOLITAN "bedside astrologer" which we read out loud for the general amusement.
Recognizable characteristics common to sexy tips in the COSMO bedside astrologer:
--ridiculous alliterations, like "passion partner" or "massage mate"
--suggestions that you use candles, oils, feathers, etc. in the bedroom to "tantalize your lover," which could get really chaotic if you used them all at once
--vague predictions that could apply to anyone
So if I had to write a column of sexy tips, first of all I'd have to get really drunk before getting near the typewriter. Since I am at work, this isn't possible.
:sigh:
I need Robin's help to write this list of sexy tips! She is much funnier than I am. Garg.
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