an excerpt from the ";hysterectomy directory"; or ";mark that down in the h.d."; pt. 1


Klutch.xls: Yeah, My Body is a Wonderland Too, Big F'ing Deal

O.K. so I was going to try to come up with some kind of clever way to present my observations about the Grammys, but they were so bad that I have about as much energy left as Avril Levine; so's I'm just gonna rip off the Sportsguy from and lay it on you simple-like.

8:00 I really hope Garfunkle takes Paul Simon's guitar and smashes it over his (Simon's) head!

8:10 Apparently the chick from No-Doubt has had her breasts removed.

8:22 Norah Jones is great, but they're blowing their wad early. I hope "they" don't fuck up her career.

8:30 Faith Hill or Faith Evans . . . whatever . . .this chick looks beat. I'm going to go download the Johnny Cash version of "hurt" by NIN.

8:43 I am really hoping that Garfunkle comes out, grabs John Mayer's guitar and bashes it over his head. I hate John Mayer because he is from Connecticut.

8:45 Yo-Yo-Ma is a slut!

8:46 This show is in serious need of some Axl . . . or at least some Adler.

9:00 Two words: Chixy Dicks!

9:02 Nice! Martina McBride brought her pimp on stage with her.

9:18 When does the guy from Coldplay go in for his operation to get a lazy eye? I have to admit though, they are a decent Radiohead cover band.

(at this point i put the barrel of the gun in my mouth and could not see the rest of the Grammys over the gun's handle)

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i just touched over 200 hands. an excerpt from the ";hysterectomy directory"; or ";mark that down in the h.d."; pt. 1

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