Song: S.O.S
Lyrics: “I told you I made dinner plans/For you and me and no one else”
Comment: Dinner plans? Please. You’re like 11. What - did your mom get a family-sized Stouffer’s lasagna and tell you to invite a few friends over? I'm 35 - I haven't had "dinner plans" since 1998.
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Song: Still in Love With Her
Lyrics: “She was all I ever wanted/She was all I ever needed and more/She walked out my door/Then she went away/Left my heart in two/Left me standing here/Singing all these blues”
Comment: Oh, holy hell. She left you standing where? In the hallway between math and biology class because you guys had been "dating" since lunchtime? "Singing the blues"? Buck up, kiddo. You got a pop quiz in bio, soccer practice after-school and your Moms is gonna take you to Friendly’s to get an awesome clown sundae later on. You’ll get over it – you’re what - like 8 and a half? Please.
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Song: Australia
Lyrics: “So I’ll wait for her to come/She won’t break my heart/Cause I know she’ll be from Australia/She is so beautiful/She’s my dream girl”
Comment: I’m sorry – what? This supposed dream girl is from Australia? Is that code for something “down under” – does your Mother know about these lyrics? Plus, you’re like 6, you just learned your phone number yesterday – do you even know where Australia is? Oh, yeah? Show me on the map, twerp.
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Song: Year 3000
Lyrics: "Went out to the backyard to find out /If it was one of those rowdy boys /Stood there with my neighbor called Peter/And a flux capacitor..."
Comment: Okay. I kinda like this song. But “Back to the Future” came out in 1985 which was 97 years before you were born. Just saying.
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Bonus: I get a kick out of the media calling the fourth, non-band member brother "the bonus Jonas". That's some funny stuff. He's what, like 4? Crazy.
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