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ornithopter: Animals That Erik Has Requested We Get And Keep At Our House & Why I Have Nixed These Ideas |
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Every time Erik sees a cute animal on tv, or the internet, there inevitably comes the subtly pleading statement, "I would like a (insert incredibly inconvenient animal here,) please." Then I have to play the bad guy and explain why this cannot happen. Following is a small sampling of such requests:
Bunny - Cats will eat it.
Pygmy Marmoset - Ditto, also endangered.
Meerkat - Have to get a whole bunch of them for full effect.
Baby Hippo - Too expensive to feed. Will grow into the very dangerous Adult Hippo.
Pygmy Goat - Will eat furniture. Providence not zoned for goats.
Fainting Goat - Smelling salts expenditure will increase tenfold.
Baby Tiger - See Baby Hippo.
Organ Grinder Monkey - Too much of an ethnic slur. Needs diaper and vest. Actually quite angry
as far as monkeys go.
Baby Snow Leopard - Endangered. Will eat cats.
Arctic Fox - See above.
Regular Fox - Too stinky. Will eat cats.
Flying Fox - Cute head, creepy wings. Dichotomy too much for brain to handle.
Baby Elephant - I will have "Baby Elephant Walk" stuck in my head until it grown up, which takes
like 10 years, I think.
Dingo - Dog we already have is pretty close, anyway. Will eat your baby.
Giant Sea Turtle - Providence not underwater. Yet.
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