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Animals That Erik Has Requested We Get And Keep At Our House & Why I Have Nixed These Ideas
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post #43
bio: collin
perma-link
4/26/2005
20:11

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Favorite Things
drinking
· Diet Coke - incessantly
eating
· One word: Hamdogs
listening
· NPR - Constantly
reading
· The Golden Compass
Every time Erik sees a cute animal on tv, or the internet, there inevitably comes the subtly pleading statement, "I would like a (insert incredibly inconvenient animal here,) please." Then I have to play the bad guy and explain why this cannot happen. Following is a small sampling of such requests:

Bunny - Cats will eat it.

Pygmy Marmoset - Ditto, also endangered.

Meerkat - Have to get a whole bunch of them for full effect.

Baby Hippo - Too expensive to feed. Will grow into the very dangerous Adult Hippo.

Pygmy Goat - Will eat furniture. Providence not zoned for goats.

Fainting Goat - Smelling salts expenditure will increase tenfold.

Baby Tiger - See Baby Hippo.

Organ Grinder Monkey - Too much of an ethnic slur. Needs diaper and vest. Actually quite angry
as far as monkeys go.

Baby Snow Leopard - Endangered. Will eat cats.

Arctic Fox - See above.

Regular Fox - Too stinky. Will eat cats.

Flying Fox - Cute head, creepy wings. Dichotomy too much for brain to handle.

Baby Elephant - I will have "Baby Elephant Walk" stuck in my head until it grown up, which takes
like 10 years, I think.

Dingo - Dog we already have is pretty close, anyway. Will eat your baby.

Giant Sea Turtle - Providence not underwater. Yet.











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