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Animals That Erik Has Requested We Get And Keep At Our House & Why I Have Nixed These Ideas
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post #43
bio: collin

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Previous Posts
President and Vice President '08
Pete Doherty Can Get Arrested In Any Town He Wants To, Thank You Very Much
Greenpoint Underpants Update
Nice Weather We're Having

Favorite Things
· Diet Coke - incessantly
· One word: Hamdogs
· NPR - Constantly
· The Golden Compass
Every time Erik sees a cute animal on tv, or the internet, there inevitably comes the subtly pleading statement, "I would like a (insert incredibly inconvenient animal here,) please." Then I have to play the bad guy and explain why this cannot happen. Following is a small sampling of such requests:

Bunny - Cats will eat it.

Pygmy Marmoset - Ditto, also endangered.

Meerkat - Have to get a whole bunch of them for full effect.

Baby Hippo - Too expensive to feed. Will grow into the very dangerous Adult Hippo.

Pygmy Goat - Will eat furniture. Providence not zoned for goats.

Fainting Goat - Smelling salts expenditure will increase tenfold.

Baby Tiger - See Baby Hippo.

Organ Grinder Monkey - Too much of an ethnic slur. Needs diaper and vest. Actually quite angry
as far as monkeys go.

Baby Snow Leopard - Endangered. Will eat cats.

Arctic Fox - See above.

Regular Fox - Too stinky. Will eat cats.

Flying Fox - Cute head, creepy wings. Dichotomy too much for brain to handle.

Baby Elephant - I will have "Baby Elephant Walk" stuck in my head until it grown up, which takes
like 10 years, I think.

Dingo - Dog we already have is pretty close, anyway. Will eat your baby.

Giant Sea Turtle - Providence not underwater. Yet.

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