We zipped down to our home state this weekend to visit the families. They are all fine - kind of.
My grandmother literally almost died on Friday, but Saturday we went to visit her at the hospital and she was up and awfully quick with the jokes.
If I was a doctor, measuring the rate and quality of my patient's jokes would be part of my diagnosis. In my grandmother's case, she would be just fine.

My other grandmother is doing great for someone who is like 99 or something. She drives around and does stuff. We sat around after dinner and made her laugh her head off with stories of our childhood antics.

We really came down there to help out Mrs. Robot's mother with her spring cleaning - which we did (and cleaned the hell out of those windows).
They need a cat.
Remember Tabby the cat that passed away? It's really quiet around there without her and the squirrels have gotten real ballsy and come into the garage and eat her dads' gourds.

I did over hear her mother talking to her sister on the phone - she said the words "vagina" and "sex" in the same sentence. It was, well, a bit scarring.

Monkey Pox
I am not glad that we have a new disease to fret about. But, at least the word 'monkey' is in it.

I thought I just heard the news guy on the radio say, "Indiana joining the EU".
I need coffee. Fast.

Nate needs direction
-----Original Message-----
From: Nate
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2003 11:15 AM
To: 'customer service'
Subject: 79955 assembly instructions

Please help!

I bought a model 79955 goal this weekend from Dick's Sporting Goods in Durham, NC and discovered that the assembly instructions were missing. Please email me or let me know where I can find instructions.


-----Original Message-----
From: Nate
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 9:28 AM
To: 'customer service'
Cc: 'Vicepresident'
Subject: Please help me.

Hey, I've not heard back from my first request and the fine people at my local Dick's Sporting Goods swore to me that you guys would help me get assembly instructions for my new 79955 basketball backboard and pole...What's the deal?

I opened the package and there seem to be all the parts but no instructions.

Can someone email them to me, or fax me the instructions, or send me a napkin with them written in crayon, or send up smoke signals while I attempt to assemble it, or maybe send over a trained monkey to put it together for me?

If I had my druthers I'd like to have the monkey, 'cause monkeys are swell and like bananas just about as much as I do. I sure could use a banana right now. If you do opt for the trained monkey, one with skills at mixing banana daiquiris would be a bonus, but not necessarily critical to completion of the task at hand.

I'm afraid that if I assemble it without the instructions it might wind up looking like a toaster oven.

I await my monkey or instructions eagerly.

Many thanks in advance.


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