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she wondered what to start this with. She had been flirting with it since the exodus from Athens. She decided this would be the most appropriate:
"you have touched me, and now I am left with nothing."
"it was probably nothing anyway."
"thanks, but I'd rather have more."
"welcome human. welcome."
She woke up at three in the morning, looked at her phone, got up and decided it was late enough to drink a beer. Besides, maybe that would quell that humiliation of caring more.
She had thought it was odd that she couldn't land on an outfit after all the shopping she had done, but that was how it started. She realized she couldn't find something that would please both the globe and him.
Her mother had been invited, yet decided not to come. It was a token. Today was a token day. As she was leaving Athens, she shot a photo from the road of her mum's old dorm. Another token of affection.
he mentioned playing catch with his sons.
She never got to tell him she played catch well.
She never got to tell him many things.
The shittiest part was that he wasn't boring. he was more interesting - more intriguing - that she thought possible. It made pretending to learn to love even sadder of course.
Going back to a bunch of empty need was not going to work anymore. Did it ever?
It made her sad, but of course she thought of you Allen. Maybe she flubbed the first kiss. She had been so so tired and so shy. It would be almost hilarious if that were the reason.
almost.
The best part was waking up with a bit of hope. She enjoyed that and drank two coca colas to combat the four Guinness she had imbibed at the globe. Few would realize how intimidate she was by the globe. She saw almost all the old haunts except for milledge avenue (oh chuck, oh exsirlence). She of course felt haunted and the ghost of narcissi past who wanted so much and thought it would all come.
all of it hurt.
most of all, she like you. you and your attention and the way you spoke made everything before seem ridiculous. It was like remembering chocolate when you had been thinking white chocolate was it.
and another thing.
It was most fun when the hotel desk clerk complimented her on her Athens Greece shirt, but it go too sweaty and she took it off to be a red shirt.
one survived.
one tried.
you play, you win. You play, you lose.
you play.
and his aunt had been in Pylon....
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