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she remembers feeling so tight from the last divorce that buying and using Kleenex - tissue paper was a luxury.
we've all got something.
now, her only hope is to swing from the trees in weirdness and hope that one day something new surprises her pleasantly.
she had lived here a year and a half. She had ruined whatever career she might have had to do it, but it was always the one thing she was adamant about: she was glad she had moved back.
today, she felt like one of those characters in the movies she used to watch - the independent films - where the character just fucking loses it - talking to store clerks (only store clerks) in wrinkled discreetly stained sweat pants.
She had a card to create some fucking expense reports to process.
the world felt like jammed
she had felt this from time to time in her life - but here again it was - jammed - like everything was off. She was
revolted
pissed off
sad
annoyed
disgusted
displeased
dramatically dismayed
what
have
you
that she didn't have him - that she didn't have someone who fused hands with her during armageddons. oh
fucking
well.
she could always try feeling sorry for herself.
that got a laugh from our girl - well a minuscule move of the lip muscle.
our girl
was old
and
depressed
it wasn't anything too terrible. she had been through hell so many times, but it was always the worst time.
this one, she had started to morph him into the type -kind of swept him into Brian/miles/Christopher/selim - men who lit her up then
well, the cliche would be walked
away
the men all walked away with a version of 3-year old narcissi clinging to their individual leg.
Leon had his now.
she remembers how she loves that she knows that he hates marshmallow or any derivative thereof - and that he still hasn't forgiven pesto for that stomach virus.
and she also remembers how he never turned it on her "oh, really - you too?" the one she always tells the robot - the moment she knew he didn't love her was a petty one.
she asked him which concert was his favorite and waited to have him ask her back. she was still waiting.
perhaps he had had her pegged and hadn't needed the petty pedantry of delving into someone's mind.
it was akin to the cuddling thing though - no cuddling - no ...
well, it would be like dating someone amputated.
no it wouldn't.
the person amputated would at least want to touch you with whatever skin they have and ask why you said that.
"I could go on this merry go round and round."
"That was your favorite game - remember? whenever you saw your brother, you'd beg for round and round."
"Yes, we share a love of mind altering. How have you been?"
Leon put his bag on the porch with a thud.
"can I come in? It's a long story."
"as you may imagine, I love long stories with a pleasing protagonist. Beer or Tequila?"
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