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solstice: January 23, 2005 - Sunday

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›bio: kristen
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›1/24/2005
›08:54

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Odd, now I know that I am actually 'messaging in a bottle' as it were. Rich has sent me the communication. I am actually 'talking' to someone.

And please, if you are reading this and I've offended you personally in the past - I do apologize.

That said. Shall we continue?




I am alone. Mark has gone to the local lame pub for a pint with a south african friend.

I have just read 'cry, beloved country', and am now a bit more well-versed.

A geography does so mold you. A georgian is different from a north carolinian. I believe my sister would identify herself as a south carolinian, but I will have to ask her. An ibm/army brat is a different thing as well. There is camaraderie in both states.

It is funny that now that I know I am 'aboard', I feel a trifle shy.

Should I reveal that mark and I have had another of our 'check-in' talks? Shall I say what that means? Shall I say what we said?

I have a few more rings around my trunk.



"will you find me" by american music club.

Each halloween, your faces get more frightening. The closer I look, the more I can see your limits begin to show. The astronaut won first prize.

I saw 'closer' today with mark. Downer. So nichols. I love the depth I can have with this artist having seen 'who's afraid of virginia woolf'. Perhaps getting older, I have chosen to have my most lasting relationships with artists.

I noticed that I have two gray hairs.


I discovered my first gray hair at age 29 when I was living on henry street in cobble hill brooklyn. At that age, it was novel. shannon cannon had speckled gray hair. Evan was grey.


I noticed when greg was visiting us two weeks ago that he had gray hairs - more than 10.




I've lived with my two (maybe a third undiscovered one - I haven't obsessed gray hairs for a couple of weeks. I thought what an interesting harbinger.

Life? More of this ____ then gray and sag? Oy vey.

Sigh.


Tonight, I cobbled together some mercy pot, and have my ipod on... returned the phone calls and the e-mail... fire in fireplace... fog outside window... ipod on (currently 'here comes a regular' by the replacements)... outfit on... solitude adored.

Marriage strange.

Friends fabulous.

City strange.

Wilmington exists.


Whenever I'm faded or happy, I want to connect with people.

The more fire in them the more interesting.



Of course, no black holes in them - no interest.


Well hello.



I wonder who you are?

If you exist.





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