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post #54
bio: chris

first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

Summer Movie Extravaganza (Je Suis Avec Busey)
Hey, kids. It's summer. And you know what that means. Time for the big summer movie blockbusters.

I saw The Hulk, and I have to admit, I liked it. I thought I was really going to hate the thing, but it's actually a pretty good movie. It's kinda slow, but I like it slow. Thirteen year old boys who want to see a big special-effects action movie are going to be disappointed, but who cares about thirteen year old boys anyway?

However, I think there are ways the movie could have been improved.

1) I wish that at some point The Hulk would turn and say to Jennifer Connelly, "I know it's pretty, baby. But I didn't take it out for air."

2) The movie could have benefited greatly by the use of random fart noises. Just once I'd like to see The Hulk, his back to us as he's about to go on a rampage, let a little tweaker out and turn his head back to acknowledge it.

"Hulk KNOW it's pretty! But Hulk NOT take out for AIR!"

I guess Terminator 3 is coming out. Does anybody really care? I remember when T2 came out it was this big giant hype machine. Terminator stuff everywhere. I've barely even heard a peep about this one.

Now there's all this talk of Arnold Schwarzenegger (sp?) running for California's Gubernatorial position. When asked about this in a press conference, Arnold replied with "Right now I'm focused on nothing but Terminator." Focused on Terminator? Arnold, you shot the movie MONTHS ago. What's left to focus on?

In other news…

After seeing The 25th Hour, Anna Paquin has fallen off her perch at the top of my "Celebrity Ladies Whose Wombs I'd Like to Fertilize" list. She was just too damn clubby-slutty in that movie. And I didn't like seeing her on Ecstasy. What are they doing to my poor little Anna.

I think Megyn Price has taken over my top spot. You might know her as the hot mom on TV's Grounded for Life. I'm not sure if that show's on anymore, but as far as TV shows go, it was pretty gosh durn funny. You have the lovely Megyn Price, the always entertaining Donal Logue, and Kevin Corrigan – one of my favorite character actors of all time. He was also in Henry Fool, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. If you haven't seen Henry Fool, go and rent it today. Unfortunately, it's only out on video – no DVD. Which is a darn shame.

It was a tough call, going with Megyn Price. She catfought it out with Jennifer Connelly and Maura Tierney for the top spot. In the end, I'm going with Price. Caroline Rhea makes that list as well, somewhere a little further down.

Have y'all heard about this new show, I'm With Busey? Sounds pretty gosh durned brilliant if you ask me.

All right, that's all I got. Now I have to get back to work before I get shot.

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