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post #127
bio: chris

first post
that week

Previous Posts
On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)

25 Things about Wilford Brimley
1. Born September 27, 1924 (NOT 1294, as was previously believed) in Salt Lake City Utah, which explains a lot.
2. According to his mini-biography on IMDB, he "…was a farmer and rodeo rider who, after gaining weight, became a blacksmith and then a film actor."
3. Made his motion picture debut in 1969's True Grit.
4. In his next film, 1971's Lawman, Brimley played TWO roles – "Marc Corman" and "Corpse".
5. Claims Quaker Oats are "the right thing to do, and the tasty way to do it".
6. Shut up and eat your damn oatmeal.
7. I mean it, boy!
8. If you don't eat your damn oatmeal, son, I'll horsewhip ya good and hogtie ya to the barn door, ya hear me?
9. Is romantically linked to Anne Heche.
10. Has never, EVER, inserted anything into his anus.
11. There's a sequel to Cocoon?!!?!!?!!?
12. Yes, there is. It's called Cocoon: The Return.
13. When I was 8, my dad took me to see Cocoon in the theaters. Dad. Son. Cocoon. WTF?
14. My father also took me to see Ernest Goes to Camp
15. Wilford Brimley is not in Ernest Goes to Camp
16. My father also too me to see Disorderlies. You know, the Fat Boys movie.
17. Wilford Brimley was not in Disorderlies, nor was he a member of The Fat Boys. Although he should have been.
18. One original Fat Boy is dead, while the other two are no longer fat.
19. They're probably not fat anymore cuz the dead Fat Boy died from being too fat
20. This is not a list about The Fat Boys.
21. Once, in an ecstasy-fueled euphoric rage, Wilford Brimley defecated all over some guy in a hotel lobby.
22. That's how he landed his role in "The Natural".
23. Is a big fan of Cockfighting. I'm not making this up.
24. Wilford Brimley knows better than you, and don't you forget it.
25. Has chunks of jackasses like you in his stool. His gummy, oatmeal-enriched stool.

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