On Sting (and other crap)
Things I Say to My Dad, Because (like myself) He Thinks, Irrationally, He's Going to Die Soon
Why Hipstamatic Was Invented
Happy Mother's Day, Y'all
Black Pear Tree (Guest Post from John Darnielle)
Feel the Power. Bring the Noise.
Things I have text messages, IMed, or said on the phone during the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament:
-- Stanley Burrell is MC Hammer's real name
-- Suck it. I picked Montana.
-- Shockers vs. Pirates. The basketball gods love me.
-- Black dude with a mohawk! It's a blohawk!
-- Marquette just fucked my bracket. I'm leaking the sex tape to the interweb.
-- What an assortment of floaters and runners
-- Sorry I didn't see you. Maybe next time.
-- WTF? You bought a dorm???
-- Greg Gumbel once signed my autistic brother's ass.
-- Is Luke there? How's his horse?
-- Matt Brunner looks like a retarded Ryan. Wait. Scratch that. He looks like Ryan.
-- Tomorrow we being the forting of the ead.
-- I'm pretty sure I'm not. But if you wanna take this all the way to Maury, be my guest.
-- I hope Bobby Hurley is giving Coach K a ride home after the game.
-- It's all about plausable deniability
-- Southern and Duke are tied!!11!! At 4. Color me badd.
-- Tell your mom I said hi, and thanks for covering me in body paint when i was 13
-- Check out the tits on that guy
-- JR Ewing wasn't that bad of a guy. It's just that Bobby was such a douche. Also, Cliff Barnez fuck1ng ruled.
-- NotVernLundquist: Dorf just wills the ball into the basket.
-- I think you sent that to the wrong person. Everything OK?
-- Am I interrupting you making out? Just wanted to say, "PwN3D!!11!//"
-- When it comes to down to money, I understand being smart. But when it comes to love, you gotta stick with your peeps.
-- I think I might get testicular cancer, 'cuz my balls are SMOKIN'!
-- The South will rise again! They're due.
-- That's it. We're done.
-- 2:22 PM. Time for a mojo shot!
-- On the pain in bench.
-- He's counting the ones on his face
-- Mojo jersey still smells like pee
-- Don't be afraid. I got the finger.
The World/Inferno Friendship Society