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Klutch.xls: Souper Salad . . . you are dead to me.

So, I have been known to throw down a boycott on unsuspecting local food establishments near my place of employment for many reasons, some reasonable, some, perhaps, not. (1 sentence, 5 commas . . . I warned you about this when I started here at Happyrobot Industries.) Here are some of the highlites:

* the Bean and Leaf: Bad attitude from the management and once (one time) they put olives with pits into my wrap. I almost broke a tooth. Oh yeah, they sold me an expired Orangina. Ultimately it was the bad attitude that put me over the edge. I'd go in for a coffee and the owner would try and pressure me to buy a brownie and I'd tell him again and again that I hate chocolate (yes, in fact, I am a communist!) and I hate cake and therefor brownies just aren't for me. But no, he would just keep pushing and pushing until I couldn't take it anymore "Stop Touching Me!" I yelled . . . and then threw down the boycott. This was one of my most successful and painful boycotts. It lasted over a year, but I really missed the top-notch fallafel. One day I walked by and saw that they had a sign that said "now under new management." I go back now, once a week.

* Bull Market Deli: I have never once received the correct order there and I always order the EXACT SAME THING!

"Veggie Burger-No Cheese-on a Bulkie Roll"

So, I get cheese, I get it in a pita, I get pulled pork. Fortunately for the Bull Market Deli, I only throw down a 6 month boycott at a time because they are the only area food vendor that offers said veggie-burger. Sure enough, once the 6 months is up, I go back and they fuck up my order and they get another boycott.

* Capone's: Good Big Cheap All Veggie Sub. Then one day we show up and the health department had shut them down. They re-opened but when we read their violations on-line we discovered that they had been washing their vegetables in the dirty dish water. They are squeaky clean now, but the boycott still exists and has been in place for about 8 months.


But today, I have been hurt deeply. I went to Souper Salad. I ordered "pasta fagioli" because it had the little "V" next to it signifying that it is vegetarian. I walked all the way back to work and sat down to eat my warm yummy lunch on this most blustery of days, and there is a FUCKING MEAT-BALL in my soup. They had given my the "tuscan meatball." So I walked back, wasted half my frigging lunch hour, and traded it for the correct soup.

Unfortunately for them, they are getting the "LIFETIME BOYCOTT." And I will make them pay.

Normally, I get my coffee there in the morning and lunch once a week. So . . . $1.40 x 5 x 52 = $364 dollars for coffee sales that they will lose and appx. $5 x 52 = $260 for lunch. That's $624 they decided to give up all over a fucking meatball.

Fuck, I'm so angry now I could spit.


(by the way Bush is planning to fight the robots. Bush vs. Robots)








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