2001:May:9
2001
Sex sex sex. You know, I'm currently in rumination about sex. For only the second time in my lover and my relationship, we seem to be running a bit longer than usual in the abstention category. It's been 11 days. It will probably be four more days. I'm one of those people who feel that sex is necessary to a healthy relationship (by the way "Eyes Wide Shut" was indeed better on the small screen), BUT I'm uncertain as to how much. I'm more of a quality person than a quantity person, but I have noticed that certain parties get quite grumpy when they have not had sex for a while. I'm one of them. I have many thoughts on sex. For one, it's very odd to me that two people get such enjoyment from putting slot "A" in Tab "B" and repeating this action until said result is achieved. I'm rather an American in my innate prudishness about sex. I was raised in an environment where if you dressed at all sexy, you got the wrong sort of attention. I had a lecherous father and step-grandfather. For two years of my life, I solved this problem with a huge layer of fat. It was so nice for me to meet and interact with males who didn't just want sex from me (as your recall my mother constantly would say this to me - and she would think so given that she married the lecherous father for whom it was true). So, I go into relationships with problems in my sexuality already there. Another aspect is that I think women's bodies are about 4 times more beautiful than male bodies. I've wondered if I were a bisexual (I mean you want to know), but I really have never been sexually attracted to a woman. I'm sure that a woman could please me just as well as a man. I mean all you do is touch certain spots and rub around and stuff. Anyone can do this. For me, it's mental. I probably wouldn't LET myself get close to a woman mentally sexually. Anyway, back to my dryspell. I miss the urgency and insatiability of early relationships. I don't want that to be gone to me forever, but it certainly is a fair trade for what I do have. I love the term, sex drive. In my relationship, I seem to be the driver, and I have lost my sex drive a bit. It's been months since I "got's to have it". I've heard that for women, the longer they go without sex, the longer they can go without sex... and for men the longer they go, the more they want it. This seems true (from my field observations). Anyway, I've decided to NOT think anything's wrong if I go two weeks without sex. I mean doesn't that defeat the purpose of sex if you feel obligated to have it? I may even go a month. This may be what mature relationships do. I'm not sure. We'll wait until lover or I "got's to have it". P.S. Sorry if you think my sex life is boring.
