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God, here she was again.
So, she had loved him, and he had thought she was a diverting lay.
yawn.
It killed her, but it wasn't anyone's fault. When you play, you often lose - you play, you sometimes win.
For fuck's sake, she had done the same thing to her second husband - liked him a little bit, but used him for the worship. At least she could be sure it was possible for her to love someone. Surely Shirley, that had to be worth a
ha'penny.
She had lost her mojo so many times before, what's one more.
"Do you ever feel like what's the point of living? that you're ready to go?"
Narcissi carefully answered, "well, I can't really entertain that, but of course - like all the time. In fact, it's really only when I feel connected to someone or something that there's any point to me. I guess it's what everyone else does too - they just don't say it out loud. We're wounded Lisa. It's harder for us - our dads wounded us. It's primal baby. but live in the now."
"Oh so easy. let me get my app out 'live in the now'"
"I fucking know my friend. I fucking know."
The squirrel without a tail jumped to a tree while she was on her walk, and she smiled. She loved the hope he represented. There was a big fat bee on a dandelion and that pleased.
It was confusing to be in a shallow relationship that gave no intimacy, and now she was out of a shallow relationship that gave no intimacy.
If he wasn't into her, what was the point anyway. fuck.
it was so hard to let go of love
what was love.
the air was muggy for the first time this year, and she always had to tell you that air conditioning was invented to dry ink on paper.
She had cried today - trying to get over the delusion.
it was hard to be
tolerated and somewhat amusing.
She wondered what she would have done if she had been aware of the deal and not so so so so so so stupid.
"Hey, so I saw your text about exclusivity and inclusion, and I'm not up for that. I'm still into keeping my options open and my life separate. you cool with that? I really like you but that's the deal I offer."
It was an interesting concept to ponder. It's the thought of him smiling his flirt smile and texting gambits to other gamine gals that got in her gullet. She was fine being "wait and see" but not fine sharing her dick.
Oh well.
And now she could finally admit. His goodbye text was a fucking douche slap.
so polite.
"I wish good things for you."
fuck you
play on.
next
(god if only she could let today be the last day she even fucking thought about this fucking pain)
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