2001:October:5
2001
I came inside and am writing this because I had a "what if" moment outside and wanted to record this.
What if life is like joining a sorority in college...those who joined a sorority were automatically going to have a harder time "getting it" just because of wanting to do something like that = church and religion
The real way of life being to realize what a sham it all is and getting really into being good and honest (not at all necessarily being "nice")...the more "fake and hypocritical and "normal" you were), the more you were offtrack. THAT being the REAL, rewarded way of life = my great hopeful true dream
Being able to progress to the next life further "up" the ladder based on whether you realized it was a sham and stupid on the outside (If you've lost me so far, realize that I'm into the Replacements, Tom Waits, Rolling Stones, Tori Amos, Tricky the Cosmonaut, Bjork, PJ Harvey, U2 (sure), Morrissey and johnny mars, hal hartley, j.d. salinger, banana yoshimoto, jeannette winterson (interesting how almost ALL of the authors I like are women but musicians it's almost the reverse), Bukowski, the Caribbean, blue warm water, stars, space, science fiction, farscape) the world is. I mean what if "my heavan" were that I get to go in the next life born into the exact life (eventually) of what I thought I wanted in this life. What if "heavan" and "doing good" by realizing some Buddhist tennats was getting to go to the level you "envied" in the life you were in. AKA, you always got what you wanted in the next life if you were "good" in this life" = my heavan
What if you ended up not needing to want to be IN THIS LIFE at all and that the more "with it" you were the more your realized how amazing it was to be alive and how the future didn't matter at all but the moment. What if I could just feel wonder in it all....ALL THE TIME. (I'm sure we don't get to all be independently wealthy in our next life...that's for the truly good who've "earned" it - although they find they're depressed probably - except for the REALLY ADVANCEd who get what they want...like Oprah = my suspicion
Wouldn't it be strange if (you could understand this) Oprah was one of the more advanced beings? I think she proably is obvioulsy. = I'm embarrassed now.
