2001:November:20
2001
You know what I realized? Is that I'm not funny to you very much. Here's something. Last night, I had one of the BEST NIGHTS OF MY LIFE. Here I was, on the last day of 29 (Farewell sweet friend!) hanging out with my short-term 29 buddy timmy (he and I are the same age for two months). IT WAS FUN. I had the day off (a rare Tuesday day off) and so it was a bit of a Friday. Mark and I drove to the beach to visit depressed timmy. I like the kid. Anyway, we got a little crazy and we were listening to music and watching tv and heightening. Timmy vented a bit and gave us a scoop on the changes in his life and we tried to bounce back to him a bit. THEN I started getting silly AND HAVING FUN. I learned last night that something about rearranging furniture and decorating houses GETS ME IN THE GUT. I LOVE IT. I was changing paintings, re-arranging tables, oh yeah. It culminated with me putting these photos from a magazine in these really nice (but empty) pewter frames that Timmy and Carrie had gotten for a wedding present. They were really hard frames. You had to screw four screws in the back with a flat head to open and shut the frames! I DREAMT about it last night. I mean it was SO FUN to me (and I'm not at all being sarcastic). In my 'umble opinion, the place looked so much better afterwards. I've gotten a similar high from doing greg gulas' place, but I also realized last night that girls were better to do because they generally do have better stuff (except jungle of course) to work with. So I got a mild high from doing Greg's place and a big one from doing timmy and carries (and I still would have done the entertainment center a bit different). Isn't that a funny thing to learn about yourself?
Anyway, so greg is a bit mad at me. He came over to borrow tools because HE's all motivated and into completing a project. It's my birthday, and I said I only want to see people when I want to. He seems to think I'm being an unreasonable freak. Blah blah blah. Another misunderstanding.
Also, I don't ever say anything about anyone that I wouldn't say to their face, it's just that if I don't say it to their face, that it's just a story to me and not a "new covanent" in friendship.
Sometimes you mess things up by explaining them to much.
I've invited people to a farscape party, and the only people I've invited are people that I'm either interested in or that I trust. Not that this is a friendship test at all. I'm just interested to see who shows up. I'm going to try and be real and by that I mean saying real things, making a scary speech, and being an admitted control freak. It just should be a learning thing eh? It's nothing definitive at all. Dude, it's all dynamic.
Of course I'm experimenting with going as far as I can on pot and alkyhol. I have a consicous rememberence to go slow and make baby steps to increase affinity to The Zone. It's cheating I know, but I canna help it. I yam what I yam.
