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I've been rethinking this whole "kick Matt in the balls" thing. From the outside, it might appear as though the vendetta should be over, but it's far from over. Here's a little history lesson:

In late 1999 John Lawton introduced me to Rich. After speaking with Rich, he mentioned that he had a friend who DEFINATELY could use me at the new company he was working for - then known as Industry Insight.

Soon after, I recieved a call from "Sandy" the Director of Talent at Industry Insight. She interviewed me by phone, and said there was just one small formality to take care of. An interview with Mr. Mathew Johnson.

During the Interview, Mr. Johnson said, "don't worry, I'll call you back whether I hire you or not - it's just common courtesy. And by the way, I'm totally gay and I'm in love with you - I love the way you make Tacos, I love that your hair is only one color and never gets professionally dyed, I love that you don't have an imaginary assistant, and I really wish I knew what you ate each and every day. Don't worry, Pat, I'll call you very soon...I stake my balls on it!"

Months pass - and no phone call.

My good Friend John Lawton (who is not Matt's friend no matter what Matt thinks) - tells me that some other weirdo has been hired in my place, and Matt has been "hiring around" - he even hired everyone I knew in NYC. Rightfully so, JL instructed me to Kick Matt in the balls.

I did the honorable thing. I gave Matt written notice. I sent him a nice little ID Card so I could ask for it when I kicked him in the balls thus indentifying myself as the person he had wronged.(we had never met face to face at this point)

Now it seems like it should all be over. Matt no longer has a job, and I do. But until Matt Johnson hires me, there will always be a ball kicking waiting in the wings. You're not off the hook that easily, Mr. Matt Johson. I'm gonna kick you in the balls, "Cause you got it comin"


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