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I have been shirking my duties. Not only have I not kicked you in the balls, but I have not threatened to kick your balls in quite some time. I am becoming old and weak. I have lost my moxy. I have lost my zest for ball kicking.

What have I become?

In days past, I could threaten to kick someone in the balls three, maybe four times a day, without even breaking a threat. Now I'm lucky if I can issue one half assed threat a weak.

Maybe the Army will whip me back into shape.

I also hear that there is a workout video specifically designed for ball kicking. I'll have to check that out.

Don't worry, Raj. I won't let you down. I will kick you in the balls - and when I do, it will be the best ball kicking you have ever recieved. It will be like you are being kicked in the balls by your girlfriend, when she found out you've been sleeping with her 16 year old sister. Or like you were kicked in the balls by a woman on the street becuase she thought you were accosting her, when in fact you were just returning the glove she had dropped two blocks back.

It will the ball kicking of the righteous and the angry.

You will know it when you see it.


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