I dreamt about kicking you in the balls last night. This is a major departure from my original theory. I do not know you, I do not know what you look like, but I believe that you are now the person who must have his balls kicked by me. Fate has dealt you an unfortunate hand, my friend, and for that, I am sorry.
But I must do what must be done.
In this case - I must kick you squarely in the balls with every ounce of my fury. And you must scream like a litlte girl who has dropped her ice cream, then squirm in the dirt like a dog with one leg who has just heard someone yell "Fetch the Ball!"
Again, poor gentle Raj, I am sorry. One the day of vengence is upon you, you will take heart in knowing that you have taken part in the righting of a great wrong.
For I have been wronged, Raj. Like a million daggers jammed into my eye, I have felt the white hot seering pain of betrayal - and you are the vessel in which I will deliver my revenge.
Go forth, poor unfortunate Raj - live your life. The day of the ball kicking will soon be upon you.