this morning, around 3 am, mrs. moo started barking. her supersonic ears picked up something and it startled her. craig got up and peeked out the front door and as he was looking, a hand came from the side and knocked loudly on the door. this is at 3am. it's no one we know.
of course, there was no way in hell we were opening the door. the dog is going apeshit and now there's someone standing in front of our door. it set a creepy scene that the guy was standing to the side of our door. craig shouts through the door and asks what the guy wants. he says "dude, it's robert". and since we don't know anyone named robert, craig tells him that he has the wrong apartment. robert goes on to plead with us to open the door and that he's not dangerous and doesn't have a gun. famous last words, right? no, robert, now we're REALLY not going to open the door for you. he says he's looking for an old, bald, irish guy and why won't we just open the door and help him find his friend. at this point, this guy has decided he's found some people to talk to and isn't going to leave us alone. since no one with that description lives in our building - guess what, robert? you get the pleasure of meeting our local police officers. yes, we called 911. we feel like asses now at 4 in the afternoon, but at 3am we were annoyed with this belligerent ass at our door. just as craig hung up the phone, robert tells us he's looking for "kelly", who yes, DOES live in our building but hello? why didn't you tell us 10 minutes ago (plus, kelly IS bald but he's only around 30 years old and why the hell would i know if he was irish other than that he doesn't have an irish accent?). anyway, the police show up lickety-split (bravo!) and apprehend "robert" in the hallway downstairs (knocking on SOMEONE else's door) and take him to the squad car. the officer comes to our door (he's all of 22) and says "i don't know why that guy was here but he's drunk as shit". drunk as shit, i kid you not.
so here we are. there is a car that we don't recognize in our parking lot and we have no way of knowing whether robert was arrested or did in fact make it to our neighbor's apartment with the help of a police officer.
since i watch too much teevee, i am convinced that robert will come murder us in our sleep. i've been practicing kung-fu moves in the bathroom all day. i'm not very good.
so there you have it. i'm annoyed and fyi: if you show up at our door at 3am expecting us to conjure up the apartment of an old, bald, irish guy we're only going to pull police officers out of that black hat.