And for the record, my coffee plan works! I brewed coffee yesterday and made ice cubes with it. This morning, I added a little bit of fresh, hot coffee to the ice cubes and my regular milk and sugar and it's really, really good. Yes, I am the poor man's Martha Stewart.
I gave Lady Admin some housey tips yesterday and she was impressed. Need to thaw out your freezer? Take a hair dryer to it! Got stinky house smells? Sit out a bowl of vinegar! Got candle wax on your carpet? Put paper over it and iron it! The wax will melt and stick to the paper. Are you like me and do not own an iron, yet you have wax to deal with? Heat up a pot or skillet on the stove and use that in place of the iron!
I am quitting my day job and starting a TV show. Martha is on her way out anyway, thanks to being a naughty stock trader. So I'm in. I'll call the TV show "Ghetto House" and it will feature household tips, as well as entertainment ideas. My pal Pooty's Croquet and Wine Party will be included--bring wine in a paper bag and get people to "rate" it (is it Camus Conundrum? Is it ripple? Hmmm...) and then play a game of croquet where it is perfectly legal if a dog picks up your ball and runs away with it.
Then there's the 40 Party. The only alcoholic beverage allowed is malt liquor. Everyone sits outside, unbathed, shoeless, listening to music through speakers that have been placed in the windows, and gets stupid on 40s. In my experience, The Flaming Lips and Monster Magnet are perfect bands to listen to during a 40 Party.