Talking About Marriage When last we spoke, I was talking about playing trombone. But before that, I was mentioning that I'd gotten engaged. Yay! Go me!
Cut to two months later, and we've finally decided on our wedding venue, and, naturally, a date. It's going to be during the fall of next year, up in the Catskills. We're very happy about the place.
So now that it's a concrete place and a concrete time, I have two different people at war in my head. Part of me is becoming that insufferable asshole who just wants to talk about his wedding all the time, because that's where the lion's share of my mental effort seems to be pointing these days. But Christ, it's ten months away, so do I really want to be that guy, even if it is something easy to talk about and I usually have such trouble finding casual things to talk about with people anyway. The other guy within me is the one who is really nervous about talking to anyone about it, on the chance that I'll not be inviting the person I'm talking to to the wedding and thus be the asshole who's raving about the party he's not going to invite you to.
Spoiler alert: some of you reading this will not be invited.
My fiancee and I have started compiling the guest lists. Because I'm a database guy, I'm doing it via Google Spreadsheets. We're dumping the names of everyone we know who we might invite to it, and assigning them three number values to them, all on a scale of one to five. First I rate if I want a person/couple to come, then my fiancee does, and then we have a number that judges the likelihood of them actually coming if we invite them. Five is the most important, one is the least likely. Everyone that either of us judges over a certain level (we'll do averages just in case someone is weighting everyone higher than the other) is in, regardless if they're low-rated by the other, and everyone whose cumulative score is over a certain level will be invited, as well. Then the likelihood rating will measure other people we will invite. All to hit a target number of invitees.
It's very weird quantifying how close you are to all of your friends.