Post-Modern Drunk: A History of Drunkenness
This was without a doubt the worst idea I have ever had.

Worse than going out with that Catholic girl. Worse than going without a coat on New Year's Eve. Worse than climbing out on a fire escape to put out a flaming bag. Worse than riding the subway for four hours. Worse than all my drunken phone calls and emails and everything I've done while under the influence. Really the dumbest alcohol related thing I've ever done. And you know I don't say that lightly, since I've done some dumb things whilst under the influence of alcohol.

I'm moving to Brooklyn in two days. I have gone through all my stocks of alcohol in anticipation of the move (also, I'm a drunk. Drunks drink their alcohol) and haven't replaced any of it. So we're down to the mixers, and the dregs.

Absinthe
Poteen
Triple Sec
Extra Dry Vermouth

That's what remains.

When it comes to alcohol, I'm Life Cereal's Mikey. I'll try anything. At least once. Often multiple times. So. Let's get rid of some of that alcohol!

Yeah, half shot of absinthe, let's drip another half shot of poteen on top. Full shot of triple sec, because, sure, why not? And a little vermouth to cut the triple sec. And some ice. Give it a chance to melt, but just a little. I wouldn't want this to be too watery.

To your health!

Slainte!

Here's ta us! Who's like us? Damned few, and they're all dead!

Prost!

Jesus fuck! What the fuck was I thinking? This is the worst thing I have ever tasted. Why am I such an idiot?

Why, god? Why?!

I still finished the drink.

This drink needs a name. How often do you get the chance to name a cocktail, no matter how horrid? I'll take suggestions, because right now the rancid taste of ass-ness is overwhelming all capacity for rational thought.

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girlie drinks				the flaming r. kelly random ten (10/28/05)

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