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post #252
bio: stu

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· The Flaming R. Kelly
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· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2

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Notes on Sobriety
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On the Greatest Political Satire of the 21st Century

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The Rock Star Life
I don't remember where I read this, but I was reading someone talk about the perks of being a rock star, and how you really know that you've arrived at the rock star life. They related an anecdote of being in a room with a bunch of groupies, and having an 80s rock star come in to the room--I think it was Slash--and, ignore everyone else, announce, "I'm here, who's going to blow me?" And eventually someone did, right there in front of everyone else. That's what being a rock star is like¹.
¹I have no idea if this is true, or even if I'm relating the particulars of the anecdote all that well. It's a lot harder than you may think to Google "Slash blowjob" and find useful² results.
²Depending on your definition of the word "useful."

So there are at least two visceral responses to this anecdote.
  1. Slash (or whoever) seems like a massive douche³, taking advantage of the situation in such a reprehensible and base fashion, but...
  2. It's hard to imagine not being tempted to misuse this power once you realize you have it, because, hey, free blowjob! Everybody likes getting blowjobs!
³The urge to say "dick" instead of "douche" crossed my mind but was rejected--albeit not completely, as we see here--because I try to avoid situations where I have to say "no pun intended," especially if a pun actually was intended.

All I'm saying is that being a rock star, a real bonifide blowjob demanding rock star, has to skew your perspective a little bit in ways that probably aren't healthy. It doesn't take a huge amount of fame to hit the "Do you know who I am?" level of conceit, but the fact is, no matter how famous you get, the vast majority of people aren't going to know who you are, and even those who do know who you are, the majority of them aren't going to care. It is only marginally less crazy for Michael Jackson (the answer when I googled "most famous person alive") to pull rank in public than it is for me to claim I deserve special treatment because I write for happyrobot.

The alternative is to close in on yourself and keep your experiences limited to groupie situations. Which, yeah, gets you free blowjobs, but probably has its drawbacks, too.

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