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Reading is fun
Albert and the Underwear Man
by nate
Dress Code
by nate
by Corinn
Dance for me
by nate
Left Digestion
by Exley Steward
tamara's superfreak, superfreak, superfreakin' day
by tamara
Halloween Parade
by nate
Crime and Punishment
by Eve
John Mohammad's opening statement
by mike
Who Wants To Annoy A Millionaire?
by Eddie
You must be from the East Coast
by Eve
Hypodermic Pixie Stick
by Eddie
Lego Car
by Eddie
Myths of Hawaii
by Eve
sunday night cab ride
by raquel
regarding thongs
by anonymous female contributor
by ericS
Turkey Baster
by nate
Hold tight monkey
by adina
my last fight
by nate
drunken bugs
by nate
by nate
Scott & Louis meet Mr. T
by scott
cinder block dragging dogs
by jason
this guy who looks like Charles Bronson
by adam broomfield
Found Poetry
by ericS

Who Wants To Annoy A Millionaire?
by Eddie
Sunday, October 12, 2003

You play golf for a living. PLAY GOLF!

I'm not sure if this particular player was a millionaire or not but I do know that he has won a few events on the European Tour. That would most likely make him a millionaire in prize money and then some subsequent endorsements. I ran into him after the recent NEC Golf tournament while I was waiting to get a better-known golfer's autograph. I figured proximity merited me getting this guy's autograph also.

Now here's how to annoy a millionaire. First, get him to autograph something for you after a not-so-stellar round. Then, when he's giving you his autograph you have this exchange:

Me - "Good round."

Ian - "You think so."

M - "Well... you were in the fairway a lot." (He was #1 of the players in fairways hit.)

I - Hrmph

M - "Hey, it's not a bad day of work is it?"

I - "Trust me, I'd rather be home."

Rather be home? You play golf for a living. PLAY GOLF!
Yep, that means you walk around hitting free golf ball with free clubs while drinking free water on a nice sunny day. You get flown around the world to places that strategically have nice weather. A tough day at the office is an over par round. Homework is hitting practice balls. A deadline is making that pesky 11:04am tee time.

I held my next comment, "Well... you could be digging ditches."