For the children. I am growing a mustache for charity. And who doesn't love a mustache?
Women, that's who.
It's not that I'm trolling for women, although certainly buried deep within every man's genetic code the seek and destroy gene re: women, is always at work. Staying-at-home as a parent (which involves surprisingly little at-home time) puts me in contact with more women than any single man could imagine. Because of where we live, many of these women are the somewhat staid variety of Junior Leaguer that has little idea what to do with me - a frustrating thing for someone who just wants to talk about books, ideas, fermented beverages, and ethnic cooking.
With very few exceptions (only one so far) the growth of my mustache has been met with looks comparable to what I imagine I'd receive if I showed up at daily drop-offs for preschool and kindergarten with a frothing, endemic fluid-filled dead baby seal wrapped around my neck. The disgust leveled at my cookie duster is remarkable.
One of the younger mustache growers said, "You'd think a good 'stache would trigger primordial lust for the strong genes of a dominant alpha male. Cave girls would fall at the feet of a hunter capable of bringing home haunches of mastadon or sabre tooth tiger or whatever the equivalent of caveman bacon was and that guy would surely be able to grow a wicked soup strainer."
Okay, it's a benefit. We are raising money for the North Carolina Children's Hospital and have an overall goal of $10,000.00. Every Monday evening (as many of us as can manage the time) get together at an Irish pub and drink, er, discuss our fundraising strategies and drink, er, compare mustaches and drink, er debate the ethics of performance enhancing drugs and or activities with which the business of growing a mustache has become so horribly overrun. It's all about the children.
Please visit the home page of North Carolina's Mustaches for Kids and follow the instructions for donations. I'd appreciate it if you add my name where appropriate as a vote of confidence in my sabre tooth tiger hunting skills.