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post #344
bio: rich
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12/1/2003
10:51

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Cougars!

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Hola Cougar. Hola Philadephia.

Hola Philadephia
We went to Philly (as they call it) Saturday to see the Elsa Schiaparelli show at their fine museum. Saturday was chilly and quite windy - so windy that the huge Christmas tree in front of the museum blew over. Yow! It was one of those 2-3 story tall trees that always grace the front of public buildings - and it blew over.
As I was taking a photograph of it, the wind kicked up again and it almost toppled me.
Like the Christmas tree I am.

Nice town, though. For the most part.



Turk-Turk
We had a good ol' thanksgiving at JackiePony and MattyJ's house. They cooked up about 40 tons of food and then proceeded to feed us.
With the food.
Good times.
Spoke to PonyPony.
She and her boy were chasing a rat around their kitchen - I think MattyJ suggested buying some snap traps to solve the problem.
Pony, what happened with your rodent?



Snap Traps
We once had a small mouse problem (not many mice - and they were small to begin with). Robot Kitty caught two of them and I caught one in a snappy trappy.
People who use those glue trap things...
"Hey! That mouse is stuck in the glue and still alive… now whatcha gonna do?"
Ugh.
Snap traps. Snap. Dead mouse. Give them a proper burial and you are good to go.



Cougar
Now, if you had a cougar, the mice problem might clear right up. Cougars.
I believe that cougars and mountain lions are one in the same - but it seems like the name "cougar" has fallen out of fashion.
Cougar.
My stupid high school's mascot was a cougar.
I guess since we lived in the mountains, the cougar was a relevant mascot unlike the rams (call me when you see a ram nearby). Golly, I forget what the other mascots were... I think one of them was a like a sprocket or atom or lightning bolt.
I'll look into that.

But, yea, if you run into a cougar, keep facing them. They are like tigers in that they usually won't attack humans head-on. They are unlike house cats, though, who will.
You also want to appear large. Spread your arms and jacket out to make yourself appear larger. Show your teeth. Yea, you heard me, show your teeth.
Move slowly.
Speak deeply. Throw sticks and rocks at the cougar.
If you have a child with you, offer the child to the cougar and maybe he will eat the kid instead of you.

No, I kid. Don't give your child to the cougar in exchange for your life.
Maybe give someone else's kid.
No. No. No.
Gather the childrens around you if it's a group of them or hold them in your arms.



When Cougars Attack!
Now, if Senor Cougar attacks you, fight back. Playing dead will only - seriously - make it easier for him to eat you.
Punch the cougar. Spit on him. Kick him. Call him names. Bite him. Poke him.
Apparently there have been a number of cases where the cougar attacked and people successfully fought them off.
Cougars.
They're cool.
When they aren't trying to eat us.



Cougar Attacks
Last night I ended up reading this when I should have been in bed: List of Confirmed Cougar Attacks In the United States and Canada 1890 - 1990. It's a spooky read - especially all the ones about the cougar stalking the humans for miles and they had no clue. Well, until the cougar was eating them.

Cougar attacks are increasing probably because more people are moving into cougar country and doing more outdoor activites in cougar areas.
A lot of the attacks are of children who are out on day hikes with their familes. I suppose little kids are a pretty good catch for a cougar.
The most disturbing thing to me was not kids getting mauled or killed, but the reaction of the parents who would then sue the park service or the state because they weren't warned or protected enough from the threat of cougars.

Hello idiots.

I'm sorry, but if you are hiking in the middle of nowhere in the western part of this country and get attacked by a wild animal... tough shit.
You are in the wild.
That's a hungry animal.
Maybe you should just stay in the local Wal-Mart.


Cougar sues humans
See, the sad thing is that all the cougars that attack people are then hunted down and killed. The damn cougars should then sue the stupid humans for tempting them with their fat asses.
The cougars really need a lobbying group. The cougars need good counsel.


I was in Philidelphia on Saturaday. Yeeeehaaaay!
»tim ||  12/1/2003 ||  10:56:55 AM
re the rat:
We made him poison sandwiches and he gobbled them up. We are now looking for one dead rat.
»pony ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:10:06 AM
good cougar info. i have been looking for some cougar facts. thanks.
»lisa ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:14:55 AM
i read it's white flight & landscaping-housing developments built closer to wildnerness. Lush lawns & tender baby trees attract deer and cougars follow.
cougar attack stories are mighty absorbing, aren't they? thanks for the survival tips
»anne ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:22:04 AM
Thanks a lot dickweed. Now when I am trying to eat humans, they'll be fighting back because they read something on the internet.
»local cougar ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:24:15 AM
in philly again...go to Tequilas off of Rittenhouse Square.

don't order the cougar, though. they'll mutter something like gringo..mutter, mutter...loco...mutter, mutter. Ole.
»nate ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:37:57 AM
I was once attacked by John Cougar. He ain't fooling anyone with this Mellencamp shit.
»cougar bait ||  12/1/2003 ||  11:57:29 AM
local cougar: i hate the internet. please don't eat me.
»mr. xls ||  12/1/2003 ||  3:48:06 PM
I'd defend the cougars. But the cougars don't pay.

If the cougar don't pay, the cougar killer gets away.
»johnnie cockring ||  12/2/2003 ||  1:23:47 PM
I was once attacked by a Mercury Cougar. It tried to run me over. I think its name was Carrie.
»chris ||  12/2/2003 ||  1:24:40 PM
I like fat asses.
»cougar...mellencamp ||  12/2/2003 ||  8:54:12 PM
Reynolds Rockets
Erwin Warriors
Enka Jets
Couga Pride
»deuce ||  12/3/2003 ||  1:42:40 AM
In Junior High, we were the Jr. Comets, as the high school was the Blue Comets, but our old uniforms said "Wildcats." I think starting in the 1920s or so, the imagination of America's youth shifted from the rugged terrain of the former frontier to celestial bodies and rocket ships.

Are Lynx, Puma, Cougar, Mountain Lions all wildcats?Can they breed? Are there Cumas and Pougars?

» ||  12/4/2003 ||  11:49:09 AM



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