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post #482
bio: rich
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4/26/2005
22:58

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Rejected Love Stinks stories

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Ironically, I am rejecting your rejection - Volume II

Love Stinks
I feel bad for all these heartbroken folks who write to the robot. Seriously, I get a lot of email for that Love Stinks thing.
"That's odd", you might think, "because that thing is never updated".

True. It's not updated that often - due mostly to the fact that the stories generally stink. No, not generally, all.
Sorry people. Heartbreak stinks (we all know that) but you got to make it interesting.


Volume II of the Love Stinks Rejection letters is a single letter that struck me as so odd on one hand (the $60 part) - yet on the other, it's just silly teen love (the guy sounds weasely, eh?).

And with that, I give you...


The F***en Basterd


Well this is the story of a f***en Basterd!!! It all started when i got a sceadule change to 2nd period science i didnt want 2 go but i had no choice! so i entered the class room and sat down then some mysterious boy named izayia came over and started playing with my hair obiousley he didn't have any hair 2 call his own! He continued 2 2 do this every day! then he told me to hold a stop watch and time him to run around the class room!

the next day me and izayia got in a food fight but mrs. gillion our guidance counsler caught me be4 i threw the banana! so izayia went 2 class while i cleaned up the cafeteria for 1 hour! the next day we exchanged phone numbers, he called me after school later that day a girl nammed jen told izayia that she would pay us each $60 if we went out so that is what izayia told me and we took the deal but the next day the word was out about the deal except they thought they could humiliate me and they said that i was paying him 2 go out with me! Fuck the school then a lot later we have been going out for 4 mounths now. then the dead line to get our money was after 4 mounths were completed it was obious that she wasnt going to hand over the mula! the next week it was monday and he asked me out for real i responded yes!

2 mounths later
we were still going out our science teacher let us all go into a planetarium it is a tent that was nothing but pich black we would hug and hold hands and put our heads on eachothers shoulders and grab eachother when we were scared. we would hug each other when it was time to leave to get on our seperate busses. we would even share my cell phone and call it our baby! we would call each other non stop every night and make fun of mr. catfish our mean language arts teacher then we would give each other nick names i called him usher and baby and he called me honey and sweetie. we even saw the movie boogie man to geather while our friends went to see whinnie the pooh.

3 mounths later
is when he began to turn into an F***en basterd !!! when we would walk to geather around school and he would run off and hang out with other girls or stare at their asses! he didnt sitwith me at lunch any more, and he kept on saying i need to break up with u and an hour later he said it was a joke every day he pulled this joke and made me believe it! the only good thing he did was play footsie with me under the table.


Now it is almost the end of the school year
and he called and said morgan i am sorry but it is over, i laugh and say nice joke the boy who cried im breaking up with u! haha! he say no really i am leaving u for mariah! i shout WHAT!?!? and hang up on him. he calls back and says with a sweet voice dont hang up on me. i am sorry but it is over. I respond but didnt u ever thing back on how many good times we had togeather?
did u think about that?

we have been going out sience the beggining of 2004 threw the middle of 2005! He said (DON'T CARE!) he also added mariah is prettier than i am! and how nice she is and how i am dirt and she is a butterfly! And how he told her he liked her and she responded aww that is so sweet why didnt u thell me be4? And my friend merissa was spending the night she was aking him questions and pretending i left the room the phone was on speaker she asked him why do u bragg about mariah on the phone when morgan is talking to u? he responds i like to make her mad!


i grabb the phone and say u little fucker well guess what i like to make u mad 2 and hang up on him! and what made situations worse was him dumping me on my own cell phone!!! the next day at school i tried to talk to him and he just ignores me! like he doesnt even see me there! i get my friend paige to talk to him in his new 2nd period class. he got a sceadule change we dont have any classes togeather any more he has them all with mariah! Paige asks him why dont u talk to her any more? He says i dont know what u r talking about and that i was a lliar!it is now the weekend and he hasent called me at all wow thats a 1st and plus he is burning up my cell phone bill and my money because he is waisting my minutes talking to mariah!


this is only part 1 once i get part 2 i will type back and i am going to add 1 more thing : He never saw the tears i cried.


I will likely read this later, but ahhh tooo high school and ahh too...

dee two.
»kristen ||  4/27/2005 ||  12:56:04 AM
Awww fueck men. The spelin on this emale makes my heed hurt. I can't reed it withot shudering.

-Stew
»stu ||  4/27/2005 ||  1:03:03 AM
oh my god. I can't get through the whole thing. it's making me queasy. You are a saint for reading this crap.
»eve ||  4/27/2005 ||  1:57:08 AM
obiously she wus in luv!
»n8 ||  4/27/2005 ||  6:42:16 AM
fucken awful. And it spans mounths.
»pony ||  4/27/2005 ||  8:55:35 AM
Now, Morgan, if you had been paying attention in Language Arts instead of flirting with that boy, perhaps your writing would be better. Now bring me some tadpoles, I'm hungry!
»mr. catfish ||  4/27/2005 ||  9:32:21 AM
Terrible spelling and teen angst aside, this letter does have a whopper of a last line.
»matty j ||  4/27/2005 ||  10:20:44 AM
i think whitney said it best with

"I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way"

anyone else concerned?



»mrs. robot ||  4/27/2005 ||  10:42:17 PM
And now, because the children our are future, here are the children or Springfield Elementary, with a song they call, "The Children Are Our Future."
Children?
»seymour ||  4/27/2005 ||  11:08:17 PM
I agree. That last line was awesome. It could be the one thing she read in Language class and repeated here. Still, despite her youth and insensibility I wish her well on the road to recovery.
»vera ||  4/28/2005 ||  3:55:57 PM
Matt Johnson - you never saw the tears I cried.....
»pat ||  5/5/2005 ||  7:55:42 AM



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