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post #521
bio: rich

first post
that week

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What the world needs now is a think piece about the pandemic
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Chris & Stu: (faux) Adventure to Milwaukee 2005

And they're sitting on their asses in NYC

Hoax. Hoax. Hoax.
We were enjoying a rather nice afternoon in the city when I got the text message that HonkeyCracker and Stu were actually still in NYC.
As in they never really left.

So. Apparently, this was a well crafted little hoax they played.
Apologies to Victoria who's feelings may be hurt (then again, just because these two can't make it to your party shouldn't put a dent in your festivities).

Um. OK.

Status (Text Message)
  • Fri 04:38pm: "Traffic Jam at GWB. But we're on our way."

  • Fri 06:28pm: "Traffic sucks so hard. On I-80, passing Danville (PA) now."

  • Fri 08:57pm: "Hit some open road, now 5 miles out of Clearfield, PA. Napped a little. Might try driving later, maybe at Cleveland (198 miles, a sign just said)"

  • Fri 09:19pm: "Just passed 'highest point on I-80 east of the Mississippi' according to a sign at mile marker 111. All downhill from here."

  • Fri 10:02pm: "At rest stop east of Falls Creek, PA. Mile marker 88, I think. Running out of cigarettes"

  • Fri 10:09pm: "Eleven miles outside of Ohio"

  • Fri 10:25pm: "We have listened to all the neutral milk hotel that exists. What now." (I replied: "Sufjan?")

  • Fri 10:31pm: "The stupidity of this is starting to sink in"

  • Fri 10:38pm: "Saving Sufjan for post-Cleveland, as we pass MI and approach Illinois"

  • Fri 11:07pm: "Is happyrobot a corporation? Can we deduct this as a business expense? Because FUCK, is gas expensive! Cell reception here is spotty too."

  • Fri 11:42pm: "Chris almost swerved off the road trying to read your last text, but we're okay now. (he blames automatics)."

  • Fri 11:54pm: "Stopping for gas. Stu is wearing a shumai shirt. Total gaylord recordz rulz."

  • Sat 12:21am: "Crossing into Ohio... Now!"

  • Sat 01:13am: "We were almost 20 miles out of Cleveland when a shot of wild turkey convinced me to let Stu drive on an expired license for a while. What are they going to do? Bob Pollard us to death?"

  • Halfway there!
    Miles completed: 448
    Miles to go: 431

  • Sat 01:44am: "'We can't stop here. This is robot country!'"

  • Sat 02:00am: "I apologize for the lame Bob Pollard reference. But, fuck. We were in Ohio. We need 2 p33."

  • Sat 02:09am: "Pee break. Getting tired, but a couple of hours out of Chicago. Friend in town we might stay with."

  • Sat 02:50am: "I'm going to drive now. No license but I'll be good. Chris has had some whiskey and is going to try to nap now."

  • Sat 01:06pm: "Rock over robots, rock on Chicago! We crashed at my friend Mark's and grabbed some much needed sleep. Back on the road now. Chris driving. 3 Hours to Milwaukee, I think."

  • For the record
    You people are nuts.

    Well, while we're all here
    Here's 18 of mine for Friday....

    elliott smith: shooting star
    gumball: butterfly potion
    Bicycle Face: Speck of Dust
    the incredible moses leroy: christmas in the summertime
    The Stars: Don't Be Afraid To Sing
    the dismemberment plan: back and forth
    wrens: she sends kisses
    Sebadoh: Pound My Skinny Head
    unwound: what was wound
    The Smiths: London
    Sufjan Stevens: Casimir Pulaski Day
    the beach boys: mrs. o'leary's cow
    andre 3000: happy valentine's day
    Mary Lou Lord: Salem '76
    Elvis Presley: I Don't Care of the Sun Don't Shine
    Brian Wilson: Wind Chimes
    Weirdos: We Got The Neutron Bomb
    Public Enemy: A Letter to the New York Post

    this is so stupid, yet so awesome at the same time.
    »dorf ||  10/14/2005 ||  9:36:34 PM
    love it! called them round 9:30 and stu was napping. am so looking forward to the reports.
    »liz ||  10/14/2005 ||  10:02:08 PM
    Did you guys leave the iron on?
    »curious ||  10/14/2005 ||  10:34:47 PM
    of all people to write this: still I hope this is real.

    I am such a reality sell-out.
    »blaine ||  10/15/2005 ||  2:09:40 AM
    where are the picture phone photos?
    »k ||  10/15/2005 ||  2:54:00 AM
    i know honky don't have no stinking picture phone.... can't speak for stu.
    »-b. ||  10/15/2005 ||  9:56:55 AM
    is this real?

    I can't believe this!

    are you guys really coming to milwaukee???
    »victoria ||  10/15/2005 ||  1:21:20 PM
    Godspeed Lads!

    Rich, this is sooooooooooooooo frikkin' funny. I love your website. Remember Mina and I have a new thing to present to you (non words - but images and voting).

    Kisses to you and lovely rachel.

    from california...
    »solstice creator ||  10/15/2005 ||  2:39:16 PM
    i guess i learned my lesson about believing everything i read on the interweb.
    »klutch.xls ||  10/15/2005 ||  8:41:10 PM
    this is definitely one of the funnier hoaxes i've seen in a while. good execution... elaborate... and noone really gets burned. i mean, after all, even if they HAD made the trip, the most they would have done is shown up to a 21st birthday party and bought the birthday girl a beer. good stuff, through and through.
    »john ||  10/15/2005 ||  9:38:33 PM
    What really would have been cool would have been if Victoria had been in on it, too. I think that is what the hoax lacked.
    »pony ||  10/16/2005 ||  12:32:11 AM
    i have to say that i'm a little puzzled as to why this is such a big deal - have any of you ever read happyrobot? the sanity level around this place hovers around "insane" on any given day. THAT being said, if chris and stu said they were going to show up on my b-day, i'd hide, seeing as you are strange boys from the internet! hee.
    »lisa ||  10/16/2005 ||  11:25:55 AM
    I have been duped and I like it!
    »dorf ||  10/16/2005 ||  9:54:37 PM

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