New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country
Search...

  Birthday Post!
«« past   |   future »»

comments[12]
all comments

post #21
bio: eve
perma-link
4/21/2005
01:04

wish list
archives
first post
that week
my links
XML/RSS




Previous Posts
Snails in Paradise
What do you know about snails?
Career Spotlight: Field Biologist
Notice: East Coast Branch Closure
May all beings be free from suffering: late winter in the country
The country haircut



people

Category List
April - National Poetry Month 2008
depression
dogs
February Smackdown
food and wine
Hawaii
Italy 2k7
pants
people
robot
the natural world
the rest of the world
the sexy



Favorite Things
drinking
· burdock root tea
eating
· gingerbread
reading
· Lucky Peach

Nineteen birthday fantasy letters and one real letter:

Dear Mom. Please don't get me anything.Really.
Dear Dad. (insert voicemail message)
Dear Nate Brown: **@# you, you #4@@*& *&%$&%^&$@.
Dear James. Sorry I didn't let you crash at my house. I don't like you; especially when you are shitfaced. Your brother lives closer anyway and he was there with you.
Dear Student Help: You're totally, like, fired.
Dear Mrs. Robot. You are beautiful.
Dear Lady who lives behind me: Please stop yelling at your kids.
Dear Sis. You are truly great!
Dear Lawton: Hit "reply".
Dear Lassie: Thank you for saving my life.
Dear President and Mr. New Pope: You guys seriously give me the creeps.
Dear Mailperson. Where are my presents and cake? Oh, good...presents. Where's the cake?
Dear Inappropriate hairs. Stop Growing!
Dear At-Home waxing. Thanks.
Dear Guy who likes to visit me at the lab: Your research is interesting but please don't ask me out.
Dear Guy across the hall: You are ahead of the guy (above) on the "Guys I might Date" scale because you have sweet-ass Leica microscopes and sea urchins.
Dear Eric. Getting up to surf at 6am doesn't sound like a good idea but only because 6am hurts. I will go anyway.
Dear ipod shuffle. Too much Beatles. Really.
Dear Self. Get yourself some flowers, goddammit.

Dear Robots. Thank you for writing and reading and for being the great robots you are.




«« past   |   future »»